Chapter 11: A Standoff with Desperate Stakes

[Do you even realize what you’re doing right now?]

“I know exactly what I’m doing—politely asking you to leave.”

[…]

Kalia, the elf, couldn’t comprehend the situation.

With magic circles floating above, and countless weapons aimed at her, shouldn’t the witch just give up?

A witch pursuing the pinnacle of magic should value her life enough to neutralize this “top-tier” male immediately.

So why was this witch holding him hostage and demanding the elves retreat?

Thrown off by the unexpected turn, Kalia briefly wore a dumbfounded expression before regaining her composure and growling at the witch.

[Don’t you value your life? To us, that male is just a stud. You seem to be gravely mistaken about something…]

“Mistaken, huh? Then activate it.”

[What?]

“Use the magic. If he’s just an ordinary stud, as you say, why haven’t you triggered those magic circles yet?”

Kalia was struck speechless, her weak spot exposed.

In truth, the magical bombardment set above the witch’s house was a last resort, designed to capture the “top-tier” male in her arms.

The circles were crafted with the mindset that as long as his manhood was intact, losing an arm or leg didn’t matter—meaning activation wasn’t without risks.

But if they activated it and gained nothing…

The elf hesitated, lost in thought.

Watching her, the witch giggled, further shaking Kalia’s resolve.

“What, too precious to risk because he’s not just any ‘top-tier’?”

“You catch on quick. But here’s the thing…”

The witch placed the large cleaver just above the man’s groin, stroking his trembling back as she continued.

“If I were you, I’d back off now and wait for another chance. If you provoke me and I slice—you’d be the ones losing, right?”

[…]

“You don’t seem inclined to leave? Fine, let’s do this: if you don’t retreat in three seconds, I cut. How’s that? Not a bad deal, right?”

[You’re insane.]

The elves glared at the witch with murderous intent, but they had no good options.

Without time-stopping magic, they couldn’t prevent this wicked witch from severing their precious seed dispenser.

And for a being pursuing the pinnacle of magic, wouldn’t she have countermeasures even for time magic?

After a brief discussion, the elves nodded and canceled the magical bombardment.

Then, issuing threats, they began to leave one by one.

[We won’t let you die easily! We’ll make sure you suffer as much as possible!]

“That’s scary. But didn’t I say if any of you make a fuss, I’d cut?”

[…]

Faced with the witch’s unyielding stance, the elves fell silent.

Reaching a spot far from the witch’s house, they immediately began discussing solutions.

“What do we do? Neither threats nor negotiations worked.”

“…For now, form a perimeter to trap her inside the Great Forest. If she escapes, we’re out of options.”

“True. By the way, Sister, what about the other ‘top-tier’ ones we captured? The sisters are already drooling over them.”

“Hm.”

Hearing sultry voices nearby, Kalia scanned her sisters and realized their state was worse than she’d imagined. Sighing deeply, she spoke.

“Fine, I permit harvesting their seed. But remember, we still have one ‘top-tier’ we haven’t captured.”

“Yes, Sister!”

The lustful roars of the mating-hungry beasts echoed through the Great Forest.

“Damn it.”

Hearing this, the witch muttered a curse and began lamenting her fate.

Things are looking bad.

No, this is beyond bad—it’s the absolute worst.

A so-called “screwed” situation.

The elves, who made the Great Forest a forbidden zone by slaughtering intruders, are now my enemies after I declared war on them.

And I’ve gotten deeply entangled with the one person I should’ve avoided at all costs—the original protagonist, Carl Fasible.

In an instant, all my plans went up in smoke, and even my future feels uncertain. I’m losing my mind.

Just one more step.

One more night, and I could’ve escaped the Great Forest unnoticed to live a peaceful, leisurely fantasy life.

“Sigh.”

As the tension faded, my legs gave out, and I collapsed on the spot.

Sighing with the emptiness filling my heart, I looked at the protagonist.

“Heh heh heh…”

He’s been laughing nonstop since we got inside, as if something’s hilarious.

Frowning, wondering if he’s lost it from the grim future, he tilted his head and asked me.

“Why the look? Did I do something wrong?”

“Plenty.”

“Hm, can’t deny that. I dragged you into quite a mess. Not on purpose, though.”

“If it was on purpose, I’d have cut off your most precious thing without hesitation.”

“…That’s a bit harsh for such a pretty mouth.”

Fasible swallowed hard, crossing his legs, and put on his most apologetic expression to beg forgiveness.

“Sorry for dragging you into my mess. I don’t know if I can fix it, but I’ll do my best.”

“No matter how I look at it, it seems hopeless.”

“Still better than getting caught without trying, right? Heh, nothing’s ‘impossible’ in this world—everything’s ‘possible.’”

Is that why you charge at monsters shouting “possible”?

The words reached my throat, but I swallowed them and asked.

“Do you have a good plan? What’s the chance of failure?”

“I’ll figure out a plan from now on, and failure…”

He smirked and shrugged.

“Worst case, I get squeezed dry by beauties. What’s the problem?”

“…”

“Death by exhaustion? That’s the best way for a man to go, right? Sure, them not being virgins is a slight issue, but that’s its own kind of charm.”

Slurp.

Fasible licked his lips, casting a lustful gaze toward the World Tree at the Great Forest’s center.

“Don’t worry! I don’t care what happens to me. I’ll burn this body to ensure you and that priestess escape!”

“You seem weirdly excited about failing. Wipe that drool off your mouth.”

“Oh, sorry. Got carried away imagining failure.”

He wiped the drool with his sleeve and laughed heartily to dispel the awkwardness.

…Truly, the maddest man in this world.

How can he only think in that direction? Is this what they mean by “brain in his pants”?

He was dizzying enough in text, but meeting him in person, I realized words couldn’t capture his full insanity.

I even felt respect for the original Beatrice.

One encounter with him makes me nauseous—how did she endure a month with four of them?

Maybe her loser persona was just her inability to handle their overwhelming madness?

Mentally applauding the original Beatrice’s transcendent resilience, I suddenly remembered something and asked the protagonist.

“Where’s the rest of your party? All captured by the elves?”

“Hm, one surrendered to temptation the moment the standoff began. The other two drew weapons and scattered, but…”

“They got caught?”

“Probably. One’s skilled but physically weak, the other’s strong but not too bright.”

“Not great news.”

“True. If even one of them were here, our escape odds would be higher.”

Fasible sighed with regret.

But his words gave me hope.

I’d read a similar episode in the novel.

Episode: The Great Escape.*

It wasn’t in the Great Forest, but the protagonist’s party escaped a nearly impossible situation.

The setup was similar: three party members captured, only the protagonist with limited freedom, searching for an escape.

Swap out me and the priestess and change the setting to the northern mountains, and it’s practically that episode.

The flow of events was uncannily similar.

The difference? The escape here is way harder.

“Still, there’s a path forward.”

Clinging to that faint glimmer of hope, I mulled over the episode’s details, then called the despairing priestess and still-laughing protagonist.

“Gather up, I’ve got something to say.”

“Oh, got a good idea? Makes sense—you found a way out in that dire situation.”

“…What scheme are you cooking up now?”

Fasible and the priestess approached with gleaming eyes.

After hearing my escape plan, they stared at me dumbfounded.

Especially our dear protagonist, who added:

“If this goes wrong, I might lose something. Could you at least let me lose my virginity first…?”

He said seriously, quietly looking down at his crotch.