Chapter 48: For the first time, I felt ashamed.

“Can we… get fries too?”

The moment I heard those words—

It felt like a switch buried deep inside me clicked on.

Long ago, when I was as small as the child in front of me—

The grandmother who reluctantly took me in once took me to a burger place, for reasons I still don’t know.

It was a time when we were so poor that eating out was unthinkable.

As a child, I didn’t understand that, and I just excitedly followed her.

Back then, seeing a kid my age at the next table happily eating fries, I asked the same question.

• Grandma, can I… have fries too?
• Fries? Be grateful I’m even buying you a burger!

As a kid, those words hurt and left a lingering resentment.

But as I grew older, I realized—

Back then, my grandmother couldn’t even guarantee our next meal.

Buying a single burger for the grandchild she was saddled with was already beyond her means.

Yet, despite that—

For the kid who envied her friend’s birthday party at a burger place, she mustered up the courage to buy me a burger.

I miss Grandma.

Her eyes always held disdain, and she never held back harsh words…

But that moment, eating a burger and smiling, was truly happy.

That one memory is enough to miss her.

“Not just fries—how about chocolate ice cream too?”

Maybe this kid grew up like I did.

If so, couldn’t I give them the memories and experiences I could never have as a child?

At least for this kid… I want them to have those moments to their heart’s content.

“…I want a burger.”

I immediately took the kid to the director.

“Is it okay if I take this one for a short walk?”

The director’s eyes widened.

“What!? A walk with Haneul?”

Not only her, but Choi Hanul and the volunteers nearby looked between me and the kid in disbelief.

“Haneul’s going for a walk?”

“Haneul, are you okay? Can you go outside?”

“Yeah… I want to go for a walk… with unnie.”

The director, staring at me with wide eyes, regained her composure and crouched to Haneul’s level.

With a joyful expression, she stroked the kid’s hair.

“Haneul, have fun on your walk with the pretty unnie. I’ll make some watermelon punch when you get back.”

“Okay.”

I held out my hand to the kid.

A small hand grasped mine without hesitation.

The kid tightly gripped the burger, eagerly biting into it, sauce smearing around their mouth.

When eating fries, they looked like they owned the world.

When tasting the ice cream, their face lit up with a “What’s this taste!?” expression.

I watched quietly.

Seeing someone happy because of me—

My brain didn’t buzz with exploding dopamine, nor did my heart pound.

Instead—

It felt like ripples spreading from a distant place.

Warm, yet bittersweet.

Like touching a long-forgotten memory.

It was as if I was comforting and patting the younger me through someone else…

What is this feeling?

I closed my eyes for a moment.

I couldn’t name it exactly, but one thing was certain.

This wasn’t the fleeting thrill of dopamine.

What could it be?

When I slowly opened my eyes, I met the kid’s gaze, who had been staring at me.

Flustered, they quickly looked away, head lowered, and spoke in a small voice.

“…Unnie, you’re a healer who helps people, right?”

“Yeah.”

“The director said you’re super, super talented and amazing.”

“Did she now…”

The kid swallowed hard, then asked in an even quieter voice.

“Then… can you bring back someone who’s died…?”

I was speechless.

• Can’t you save my grandma?
• She’s… the only family I have…
• Doctor, please, can’t you save my grandma? Please…

I knew exactly what kind of heart asked such a question.

And once again, I felt ashamed.

I’d resolved to avoid gates for my own comfort.

I’d dreamed of getting rich, living well, eating well—

The past me who thought such things came to mind.

I was utterly ashamed.

Even now, powerless people were dying somewhere.

Awakeners across Korea were risking their lives in gates to protect their families or strangers they’d never met.

And me…

I’m an awakener with such a valuable ability, called a “precious healer.”

Yet I was holed up at home, growing herbs.

Truly shameful and pathetic.

But I couldn’t just hang my head.

I couldn’t undo the past, but I could save more people going forward.

Steeling my resolve, I looked at the kid.

“I can’t bring back the dead… but I can use my power to stop more people from dying.”

The kid’s face lit up.

“Wow… unnie, you’re so cool…!”

Their eyes, once shrouded in darkness, now shimmered dreamily.

“When I grow up, I want to be like you. I… don’t want any more kids like me to go through this.”

Those words filled my heart with deep shame.

So, I decided—

To keep this kid’s eyes sparkling like they are now.

So that one day, when I hear “I want to be like you” again, I can stand without a shred of shame.

I resolved to use my abilities for the world…

For the first time since awakening, I made that vow.

At the National Disaster Response Headquarters meeting room—

Red dots rapidly multiplied across a map on the wall screen.

“Over the past month, variant gate occurrences have increased by 184% compared to the previous month.”

The director’s face visibly hardened at the report.

“The problem is…”

The coordinator clicked the remote.

The next screen showed a graph of awakener participation in gate raids.

“The proportion of awakeners participating in raids has dropped to less than half compared to before.”

The meeting room fell silent.

Everyone knew why.

Awakeners had grown wealthier.

Guilds that earned fortunes had ceased operations.

They knew throwing themselves into dangerous gates was less profitable than investments or businesses.

“Unless we address the cause, variant gates will only keep increasing.”

The director, who had been listening quietly, finally spoke.

“If we can’t move individuals, we’ll move groups.”

She continued immediately.

“From now on, we’ll maintain individual contribution scores as before—”

She paused, pointing to the table on the screen.

“But when guild members clear gates together, we’ll award additional contribution points to the entire guild.”

With that, new data appeared.

[Guild Contribution Metrics]

• Variant gate suppression contribution
• Resource collection and delivery
• Civilian rescue and recovery support
• Gate exploration and information provision

“And… to move groups, we need a goal.”

A photo appeared on the screen.

“This is an S-rank gate recently secured for resource collection.”

The room’s atmosphere shifted subtly.

Until recently, vague terms like “top-tier gate” or “mid-tier, low-tier” were used.

But the new ranking system made “S-rank” alone enough to convey its danger and value.

“This S-rank resource collection gate… instead of the state using it or auctioning it, we’ll transfer it to the guild with the highest contribution score within a set period.”

Deep mana water, rare minerals, collectibles, and ancient relics—

An unprecedented S-rank gate, one that might never appear again.

If auctioned, what price would it fetch?

Likely a figure beyond imagination, shattering all records.

Gasps echoed in the quiet meeting room.

“Handing this to a guild… no guild could resist moving.”

“I’d drop my business and jump in.”

“There’ll be some losses, but in the long term, it’s a gain for the nation.”

That afternoon—

The administration’s meeting was broadcast nationwide.

[To all awakeners: To curb the spread of variant gates and protect national security and survival, we’re implementing a new guild contribution system.]

[For the next three months, the guild with the highest contribution in variant gate response, resource collection, and civilian rescue will be awarded a state-owned S-rank gate.]

[Below is the resource overview of the S-rank gate to be transferred…]

As expected, the awakener community went wild.

[Variant gates must be serious… The state’s handing over an S-rank gate.]

[Guilds are gonna go crazy recruiting now lol.]

[But this reward… isn’t it just for Manwol, Gaehwa, and Baekya?]

[Bet all the guilds hiding their strength will show up now lol.]

[Small and mid-tier guilds are done for. Big guilds will poach everyone.]

At the same time—

Guilds prioritizing business and investments began posting recruitment notices for the first time in ages.

[‘Cheonglim Trading’ is recruiting. Full SS-rank gear support / Full potion support / Fixed monthly pay + performance bonuses.]

[‘Cheongpunghoe’ is recruiting combatants. A-rank or higher preferred / Lodging, meals, gear fully provided.]

A guild focused on running an academy to train famous awakeners urgently called back all graduates.

‘GoldEye,’ which made money processing rare minerals with unique abilities, halted its factory to reorganize its combat team.

[‘Wave’ Guild seeks alliance partners. Multiple S-rankers.]

[One S-ranker, multiple A-rankers, ‘Yunseul’ Guild recruiting new members.]

[‘Salvation’ Guild, led by a healer, is recruiting new members. Support and benefits…]

It was as if giant beasts, long crouched, were rising one by one, eyeing their prey.

As the thick soundproof door closed, the bustling footsteps in the hallway vanished.

“Hello, Director.”

As I greeted her, the director, seated behind her desk, looked up.

I didn’t even sit before getting to the point.

“Do you remember the condition we discussed before?”

“Of course. I promised to help you with anything within my power, Healer-nim.”

A faint smile spread across her face.

“What can I help you with?”

“I want to start a guild.”

Her smile slowly faded at my short reply.

“You, Healer-nim, want to start a guild yourself?”

I nodded silently.

The director stared at me for a moment, then pushed a stack of papers aside.

She pressed the intercom on her desk.

“Connect me to the Awakener Registration Office, the Guild Founding Review Committee, and the Legal Department.”

No sooner had she given the order than hurried footsteps echoed from the next room.

“Normally, guild founding reviews take at least two weeks, sometimes a month. But since it’s a promise to you, Healer-nim, we’ll finalize it today.”

Knock, knock—

Moments later, a knock came at the door.

A staff member cautiously entered, carrying a thick folder.

“Founding review documents and base registration forms.”

The director picked up a pen and pointed to the blank fields.

“Just fill in the purpose, name, and base address.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, I placed the pen on the paper.

[Purpose 1: To nurture the best awakeners with my abilities.]

[Purpose 2: To eliminate the source of gates with my guild members and create a world where everyone enjoys peace equally.]

[Name: Green]

[Base Address:]

Since I didn’t have a guild building, the base address would have to be blank…

Or so I thought.

Since there’s no need to hide my identity at the café anymore, I decided to write the café’s address.

…Looks like I’ll need to secure a guild headquarters soon.

As I wrote in the documents—

I plan to nurture our guild members into the best awakeners in the best environment.

Of course, I need to become the best healer, not falling behind my guild members.

Since most high-combat awakeners are already in other guilds, ours will have to be a small, elite team.

But I’ll overinvest in each member to make them human weapons.

Thankfully, I have plenty of items to support guild member growth.

And with rare herbs from the untouched ‘Winter Forest’ in mind, there’s no question about it.

…Alright.

Who are the awakeners not yet in guilds?

The women at the administration?

Or should I search for high-potential non-awakeners with the Awakening Ginseng?

No, no.

Before recruiting, I need to build a guild headquarters…

As my thoughts tangled, I was interrupted.

“Hello, Boss! I brought the parental consent form, and my dad as a witness…”

The student who wanted to work at the café rushed to the counter, panting.

Seeing me in my true form, she froze for a moment.

Then, her eyes sparkled as if a long-held question had been answered.

“I knew it! This is your real face, right?”

“How…”

Before I could ask how she knew—

A man slowly walked in behind her, catching my eye.

Impeccable suit.

Heavy steps.

A piercing gaze.

Someone I knew well.

“Hello. My daughter desperately wants to work at this café, so I came to meet the owner. Where might they be?”

At those words, my breath caught.

…Her father is Chairman Jung Chan-ho?

Then…

The daughter he said was sick…

My wide eyes turned to the student in her school uniform.