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Chapter 82: Blindfold Splint (8)

Part 14

“I’m not opening donations. If you really want to give, send them to Sanghyeon—CheungJeokun’s stream. He shares a bit, saying it’s thanks to me,” I said.

Why not make a big hit?

A big hit? That sounds like something illegal. Leaning an arm casually on the piano’s closed lid, I shook my head lightly. Does this look too edgy? Moving now would disrupt the flow, so I stayed put, trying to seem refined.

“I’m not planning to take streaming beyond a hobby anyway. I’ll graduate properly and get a job,” I added.

Then we can’t see donation reactions!!!!
Take them and donate them or something!

Shifting on the piano chair, adjusting my posture—legs together, back straight—I wondered, Is leaning like this okay? The chat, clearly displeased with my stance, started tossing out cheeky demands. As if I’d give in.

“Reactions? I’d just say ‘thank you’ for 5,000 won, 10,000 won, or even 50,000 won,” I said.

That’s the good stuff tho ;

Hope you’re not finding joy in such a tough life. Just living positively, I hope…

“Donations? If you want to give, do it directly yourself. Less fees, better results,” I countered.

Having a focal point feels different ;
It’s like raising funds at a charity concert, no?

That made sense. A clear goal, like “Let’s raise this much, go!” with visible progress, could be motivating…

“…I’ll think about it,” I said.

Got tempted but changed the subject lol
If you think it’s a good idea, just open donations!

Still too soon. That kind of thing demands responsibility. Streaming’s just a hobby, a way to chat. Big moves like that? Maybe when I’m more invested.

With a faint smile, I shook my head slowly. Refusing money outright felt odd, but accepting it with half-hearted intentions seemed wrong as a person.

“For now, no. When I’m a big-shot streamer with real influence, then I’ll consider it,” I said.

Are you Buddha? ;
Nuna… you know you’ve got over 500 viewers right now, right…?

“Thanks to Sanghyeon and Bonfire’s shoutouts, I bet most of you are here out of curiosity. Next stream, half might be gone,” I said.

Nah, first time here but I’m sticking around
Look at the sub count, you think it’ll halve? lol

I knew it was a decent start, but… 500 viewers? That’s huge! Where’s the Yoonseo who panicked when 100 people joined her casual chat stream?

“Anyway! Enough of that. I’m not opening donations now. Ask me something you’re curious about instead—something productive. I’m eating soon, so I’ll probably end the stream,” I said.

Let’s go eating stream!!!!
It’s only been an hour, already?
Show us the nom-nom-nom

Maybe I overdid it, but I played my prepared pieces without major flubs. The vibe was lively, warm. Pretty good, huh? It’ll probably stay this way.

It’s not fully sincere yet. I can’t match their enthusiasm with equal effort. But if I can keep it like today, it might be… a little, no, very fun.

No donations, how do we ask questions?!

“Isn’t there a raffle function or something? How’s that work?” I asked.

Part 15

“Your stream’s doing pretty well,” Dr. Kang said.

“Haha… guess my looks draw attention,” I replied.

“You don’t mind?” he asked.

“Everyone’s nice. Some play pranks, but compared to the jerks I’ve met in real life, they’re cute,” I said.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” he clarified.

His eyes flicked between me and the chart, barely glancing at the “healthy, but lacks exercise” note. Today was the day to meet that patient. Was he nervous now, worried it might negatively affect us both?

“Since the cosplay, you’ve changed a lot. Your stories, your lack of resentment, even doing makeup and embracing your current self—all proactive. I thought it was because you’ve grown used to it, accepted it. I figured you’d be a good example for him. I thought you’d overcome it. But—” he paused.

The chart landed precariously on the desk’s edge, as usual. His gaze locked onto mine, unwavering. I knew what was coming. I’d heard it often, even from him.

“You’re asking if I’m really okay, right?” I said.

“I think I know your personality roughly. To put it kindly, you’re good-hearted, but honestly—” he started.

“Indecisive, easily swayed, can’t stand up for myself. Right?” I cut in.

Smiling lightly, I watched his lips, poised to say more, clamp shut. He’s so cautious, yet time’s passed for him to say this. This consultation room felt familiar now, a sign of how much time had gone by.

“Maybe that’s true. Maybe I act this way because someone—others—want me to. Unconsciously, I might think that,” I said.

“Then—” he began.

“But so what?” I interrupted.

The initial despair, the emptiness of loss, the frustration. Questioning why me?, lashing out at no one. Causing trouble for others. Yet, step by step, I’d moved forward to now. Had the core of Yoonseo changed? I couldn’t say for sure, but so what?

“I’m starting to enjoy this life, this changed form. Whether it’s forced or not, if I’m happy, that’s enough. You said acting to earn others’ goodwill is a natural instinct, right?” I asked.

“…I see,” he replied.

What is Yoonseo? What’s me? Beyond masculinity or femininity. Not hiding my changed gender or appearance, but embracing it all. Why lipstick feels natural now. Why I can take “cute” in chat as genuine kindness.

“That’s how it is,” I said.

Words weren’t needed. A bright smile conveyed it—I’d decided to stop overthinking, to enjoy it. Even if someone called me cowardly, I’d laugh it off and bask in the warmth around me.

“Thanks for today. Any more checkups?” I asked.

I was too shy to say how grateful I was for all the help, but I slipped in a quiet thanks. Did it land? Even if not, there’d be more chances, like always.

He let out a soft, deflating chuckle, mirroring my smile. The brief silence wasn’t awkward—maybe a sign I’d grown used to this place, this person.

“…No, you’re good to go,” he said.

“Are they already here?” I asked.

“I heard they’ll arrive in about 15 minutes. Is your work schedule okay?” he asked.

“I told them the checkup might take a while,” I replied.

“Getting clever,” he teased.

I’d received so much kindness, so much warmth. Now I’d share it, help someone like others helped me.

“Heh. Where do we go?” I asked.

“I’ll come with. Cleared my schedule, no appointments,” he said.