Chapter 5: Meeting(4)

I didn’t look at the price when I paid, but checking the text confirmation hit me a bit.It was at least 150,000 to 200,000 won, so it’s no surprise.I didn’t regret it, but being broke was another matter.I’d have to live frugally for a while, I thought, slipping my phone into my pocket.At the mart, I noticed a lot of discounted alcohol.Four cans for 10,000 won, or buy two bottles and get a discount.Since I was buying anyway, focusing on discounted items seemed smart.Even though I was using my dad’s card, saving where I could wouldn’t hurt.
“Let’s get this… and this… hmm.”
Since I was buying alcohol after a while, maybe making cocktails would be fun.There was someone to drink with, so it shouldn’t go to waste.So, I carefully swept up various types of alcohol and checked out.After paying, I put the bottles in bags and carried them in both hands.It was a bit heavy, but not unmanageable.Now, I’d head back to the apartment, get Kyunghee to drink, and figure out what’s on her mind.It felt a bit like trying to charm a girl, but whatever.
Treating Kyunghee as some human-like thing felt wrong; treating her as a woman seemed better.She might think differently, but still.I wanted to treat her as a woman my age.The problem was her reaction…I honestly couldn’t predict how she’d respond.I had no hints about whether she’d like or dislike being treated as her new self.If only she’d express her preferences.
“Whoa, already here.”
I entered the officetel and pressed the elevator button.After that, I stood in front of my apartment, holding the bags, and rang the bell.She was probably inside, and sure enough.It seemed she thought she had to greet me the moment I arrived.There was a sound of something falling and stumbling, then the door cautiously opened.
“You okay? I heard a crash.”“Y-yeah…”
She clearly wasn’t okay.There was a visible bruise on her leg.She must’ve hit something hard.I went inside, and Kyunghee closed the door, then hesitantly shuffled to the corner to sit.From the looks of it, she’d put the perishable food in the fridge and stayed in the corner until I got back.It was like she’d claimed that corner as her spot.As if she couldn’t go anywhere else in the living room.Like she had to stay in the corner without permission.
“Stand up for a sec.”“Huh? Okay…”
I put the alcohol bags on the desk and handed her the bag with clothes.Kyunghee froze for a few seconds, then slowly asked,
“What’s this?”“Clothes. Should I go to another room while you change?”“N-no, it’s fine.”
Kyunghee was visibly nervous, watching my every move.I didn’t know how she interpreted it, but it was pitiful.I told her she could change slowly, but she panicked and started undressing.Like a soldier who had to change quickly or face consequences.She tripped while doing so, and I could tell what was happening.I caught her mid-fall to steady her, pretending not to notice.If I hadn’t, she’d probably have fallen and said she was fine anyway.
“Ah!”“It’s okay.”“S-sorry! I’m such an idiot, I mean… sorry…”“No, keep changing. I’ll go to another room.”
Her face went pale at those words.Like a death row inmate hearing a sentence.She blurted out that it was fine and started changing rapidly.She slowed down, trying not to repeat her earlier mistake, but her face remained pale.Undressing, glancing at me.Dressing, glancing at me.I should’ve gone to another room earlier.
She was so aware of being watched, it was hard to tell if she even realized it herself.While changing, she hesitantly picked up a bra.At this point, I figured staying still was best.If I went to another room, she’d probably misinterpret it and panic.Pretending not to notice, I watched as she struggled to put on the bra.She was flailing desperately, but I decided not to intervene unless it looked like she’d fail completely.Finally, she put on the hoodie and gave me an awkward smile.
“It suits you.”“R-really?”“You don’t need to cut the tags?”“It’s fine, they’re not that bothersome…”
That was clearly a lie.I could see her scratching where the tags were irritating her.But if I asked, she’d just say it was fine, so I sighed, grabbed scissors, and ignored her trembling as I cut the tags off.I planned to toss them in the trash since I wouldn’t return the clothes.But seeing me cut the tags, Kyunghee seemed to think something else, trembling with fear.It was like she was convinced I’d do something bad.Her tense, hesitant way of sitting gave it away.
“I got some alcohol. Wanna drink?”
It felt like time to make a move.And it seemed like the right move.
“A-alcohol…?”“Yeah. From whiskey to soju, I got a variety.”“Alcohol…”
Kyunghee’s rabbit ears perked up.Before, they looked like lop-eared rabbit ears, but now they were just regular rabbit ears.Realizing her ears had gone up, she desperately grabbed the tips and pulled them down.But pulling them didn’t make them stay down.Unable to do anything, she pressed her ears down and lowered her head for a while.Her ears kept twitching excitedly at the word “alcohol,” and it was, well…
Cute.
“S-sorry…!”“No, it’s fine.”“………………”
I couldn’t help but reach for her head.Since my hand was already there, I decided to pat it, and the texture was unique.It felt like stroking a fluffy small animal, almost soothing.Kyunghee seemed to find peace in it, sitting upright with her eyes closed.Unlike earlier, when her breathing was rough with anxiety, it was stable now.She seemed to find comfort in being petted, despite appearances.
And she was very cute.Especially with her eyes closed, letting herself be petted.Unable to hold back, I hugged her and kept patting her head.The way her head swayed with each pat was incredibly cute.And the way her ears trembled when she flinched felt nice too.
“You’re cute.”“……!”“Cute.”
Now that I looked, her hair was fluffing up too.I kept petting her absentmindedly for a few minutes, but something was off with Kyunghee.
“………………”“You can relax, you know.”
It was hard to describe.It felt like she was bracing herself to be hit.Sitting upright with her eyes closed, her breathing steady.Like she was preparing to take a hit with minimal pain.I wondered how much she’d been hit to have this ingrained.
“It’s bad.”
The words slipped out.Even kids bullied and beaten throughout school wouldn’t be this bad.At least they didn’t think getting hit was normal.One kid I taught to fight ended up beating up a bully and went on with school life normally.But Kyunghee had no will to resist.
“J-just hit me… I’ll relax…”
She must’ve misunderstood, because she started crying.At the same time, she completely relaxed, swaying as I moved her.It was totally different from her tense state earlier.She was letting go to take a hit with maximum pain.
“I’m not going to hit you.”“D-don’t lie… You’re just waiting for me to let my guard down to hit or use me…”“Why would I hit you?”“But I’m a burden and annoying. I’m an idiot who can’t do anything…”“All I did was tell you to go home first.”
To clear up the twisted misunderstanding, I let her go and sat down.Kyunghee quickly knelt politely, hesitating.Just in case, I raised my hand quickly as if to hit her, and as expected.Her eyes closed, her body stiffened with tension.
“When I told you to go home, what did you think I meant?”“………………”“Tell me honestly. I’m getting a bit mad.”
Pretending to be angry, I spoke, and Kyunghee blurted out her words.
“I-I’m a useless burden, so you told me to stay locked up at home…”“…What?”“Y-you couldn’t tell me to die since you’re nice, so you meant to get out of your sight…”“Hmm… What about when I bought you clothes?”“You didn’t want to see me in your clothes, so you told me to wear new ones…?”“And when I was petting your head earlier?”
Kyunghee scratched her cheek, hesitating.But only for a moment.She soon opened her mouth and started talking.
“I thought you were bored and about to hit me.”“Your head?”“Y-yeah… It hurts more if you hit when I’m relaxed. But you kept petting, so…”“You thought I was waiting for you to relax to hit you?”“Yeah. I-I’m sorry if I upset you. I’m just a useless idiot, so…”“So that’s why you asked me to hit or use you.”“N-next time, I’ll stay relaxed so it’s easier to hit. Ugh.”
There wasn’t much more to say.I patted her head once more, then stood up.For now, I’d get her to drink and hear her true feelings.Without alcohol, it didn’t seem like I’d get a chance to hear her real thoughts.