Chapter 10: Unreasonable(4)

Honestly, I didn’t feel bad or anything.
I’d expected this level of attachment from Kyunghee.
It was only natural. I showed up in her most desperate moment and saved her.
Like a prince on a white horse. It’d be stranger if she didn’t fall for me.

In a state where her self-esteem was at rock bottom, I reached out to her.
I cooked her warm meals, bought her clothes, and gave her a place to sleep.
I told her she could stay as long as she wanted and treated her like a guest.
If I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t have been able to resist falling for someone like that either.
Of course, in her case, those feelings of affection seemed to have morphed into something slightly different.

“Haa.”

It was still at a cute level.
Like writing about wanting to be with someone in her notebook or filling pages with drawings of my face.
At this level, I could see it as adorable affection.
There was no way she could detach herself from me all at once.
Doing so might even have a negative impact.
But separately, I felt some kind of safeguard was necessary.
Right now, Kyunghee was living her life tied to me.

She was learning housework and running errands to “pay me back.”
She was writing and drawing to show me she was moving forward.
And further, she was starting to study to go to university with me.
Thinking that far made my head spin.
It couldn’t not get complicated.
I was in a tricky situation where I had to distance myself from her while staying close at times.

To keep her from thinking I’d abandoned her, I needed to make her understand I had no choice.
“Siwoo can’t cut off all his friends for me. So it can’t be helped.”
“Siwoo can’t give up university for me. So it can’t be helped.”
“But we can still spend weekends together, so it’s okay.”
That kind of mindset seemed about right.
I looked at the drawings of my face in her notebook again, then went to my room.
Kyunghee was fast asleep.
But maybe she was having a nightmare—her hair was turning dry and dull.

“Phew.”

I sat on the floor and held her hand.
She seemed to relax a bit, her breathing steadying.
Thinking how cute she looked even while sleeping, I let go of her hand and stepped out.
For some reason, her hand didn’t feel like a sleeping person’s, but I brushed it off as my imagination.
A few more days passed after that.
I’d gone to the university once during that time.
Partly for a club and partly to see if I could find cheap textbooks.
And today, I had to go to campus again to keep my promise with Jinsu.
So, while preparing breakfast and taking the first bite, I told Kyunghee,

“Last time I came back early, but today I’ll be out late.”
“Okay…”
“You’ll have to eat lunch and dinner alone. I prepped side dishes, so just heat them up.”
“Got it…”

As expected, Kyunghee’s reaction was glum while eating breakfast and listening to me.
Normally, her ears would be pointing to the sky, but now they were drooping.
Her hair was dull too. Still, it was better than before.
Unlike the “I’m going to die” vibe from last time, now she just looked disappointed.
Of course, this was incredibly cute too. Tears welled up as she chewed her food slowly.
Her anxious eyes darted between eating and looking at me—how could she not be adorable?

But no amount of staring would make me change my mind.
I said firmly that I wasn’t reconsidering, and she started crying.
Still, she didn’t stop eating.
She probably thought making a fuss over this would make me dislike her.
I had no intention of disliking her, but it made things easier for me.
After breakfast, I had her do the dishes while I got out the vacuum cleaner. But something was off with her.

Her shoulders were trembling occasionally. I could guess why.
She was crying. She must’ve thought she’d get scolded for crying in front of me, so she was doing it while washing dishes.
The thought that she hated being apart from me that much hit me briefly.
But more than that, I realized this could become a real problem.
I felt the need to distance myself from her again.
Still, it was a relief that her attachment seemed relatively mild.

It felt like “I’m anxious without you” rather than something deeper.
Like a baby bird looking for its mother, she was just searching for me when I wasn’t there.
But if I didn’t handle this well, her attachment could intensify.
From “I’m anxious without you” to “I’ll die without you.”
I’d heard from others how hard it is to fix a broken heart.
Thinking I’d take her out for a date on the weekend, I finished cleaning, showered, changed in the bathroom, and told the puffy-eyed Kyunghee I’d be back later.

She tried to speak but was too overwhelmed and just cried.
I hugged her one more time and left.
Shaking off an eerie feeling of being watched, I pulled out my phone and called.

“Hey, Siwoo.”
“Jinsu, where you at?”
“Huh? At home. Oh, crap, I forgot. I’m heading out.”
“Ugh. Don’t trip on your way. I’m heading your way anyway.”
“Cool, cool.”

From his voice, he reeked of alcohol, like he’d been drinking all night.
If I hadn’t called, he’d probably have slept for hours.
It was expected, so I didn’t care.
But I was worried that he planned to drink again with me after all that.
I hoped he wouldn’t just collapse and die.
Thankfully, Jinsu came out looking decent enough.

“Man, how much did you drink?”
“Ugh, don’t ask. The seniors clung to me like leeches.”
“Your parents don’t say anything? Drinking instead of studying?”
“Pfft, my big bro’s got studying covered.”
“Bullshit.”
“Come on, tell me about your girlfriend.”

Jinsu’s eyes sparkled with genuine curiosity.
We’d been out of touch, and then he saw me with a girl by my side.
But I couldn’t tell him the full truth, so I had to embellish a bit.
Saying she had “circumstances” seemed like the best approach.

“I told you Kyunghee’s staying at my place because of some circumstances, right?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“We actually knew each other before. We liked each other a bit.”
“Ooooh…”
“Then she needed a place to stay for a few days, and we got closer.”
“Damn, you’ve got game! You were such a nerd in high school.”
“Hey, I didn’t date back then because I was studying, not because I couldn’t.”
“If you say so. Anyway, buying books is such a hassle.”

Jinsu grumbled, and he had a point.
Our university was prestigious with a long history, but the textbook quality was lacking.
Most professors used their own materials, so textbooks were often just supplementary.
Some seniors got A’s without buying them, relying on notes alone.

“You’ll use them eventually if you buy them.”
“That’s your logic. Ugh…”
“What, you gonna ‘borrow’ money again?”
“Hey! Not borrow—appropriate is the proper term.”
“Crazy bastard.”
“So, you not drinking the booze I’m buying?”

Jinsu grinned slyly, mimed chugging soju, and burst out laughing.
He was right. He could get above-average grades just by taking good notes without textbooks.
And free drinks always taste better.
Plus, nothing beats catching up with a friend over drinks after a long time.
So we went to the campus bookstore and bought books.
Jinsu just noted the prices without buying anything.
He carried my books, saying his hands were free.
We stuffed them into my department locker, locked it, and wandered around campus.

Jinsu was checking for upcoming university events, while I had questions for professors.
After finishing our errands, time flew by.
Our plan to drink just the two of us grew into a bigger group.
Classmates and seniors with similar errands joined, and we ended up with a dozen or so people heading to a bar.
Naturally, Jinsu offered to cover my share, and the drinking party kicked off.
The atmosphere heated up fast.

It couldn’t not heat up.
It was the desperate frenzy of college students before the semester started.
Glasses were emptied, and about half the group stumbled home.
Jinsu and I still had energy, so we planned to join the second round.
Then I thought of Kyunghee and checked the time—it was around 8 p.m.
Figuring it’d be fine, I went for the second, third, and even fourth rounds before heading home.