Chapter 8: The day before planting (2)
Part 4
I felt like I’d been hit with something.
That doctor—was he serious, joking, or just indifferent? I couldn’t tell.
“…Um, driver?”
“Yes?”
Through the taxi’s window, the lively midday cityscape flashed by like clouds.
I wasn’t about to buy everything the doctor said—accepting it felt like losing—but…
“Do you think I’d look okay if I dressed up a bit?”
The driver’s eyes in the rear view mirror screamed, What is this person talking about?
Okay, even I thought it sounded ridiculous, but getting such an obvious look hurt a little… or so I thought.
“I’ve never really been popular, you know.”
“Huh? You, miss?”
“Yeah, me.”
I didn’t mean to go there, but the driver’s gaze made me realize something.
At least outwardly, I looked pretty decent now.
Not my type, mind you, but I’d kind of noticed.
Today’s talk made me wonder if my dislike for my appearance was just me taking out my frustrations somewhere else.
Either way, getting some confirmation felt like a small win.
“So, someone suggested I try dressing up a bit.”
“Oh… I see.”
Sorry, driver. I feel bad for putting you on the spot. Sorry for distracting you while driving…
But I wasn vergelij
System: ’t just rambling for no reason.
It wasn’t about unloading on family or the doctor, who’d naturally be biased.
I needed someone I likely wouldn’t see again, someone I could ask without feeling too embarrassed.
The driver just happened to fit the bill.
“As you can see, I’m not very curvy, and I’m short, so clothes probably don’t fit me well. I look kinda childish, don’t I?”
“Haha… no, you have a perfectly nice figure.”
“Thanks… but anyway, I usually dress pretty tomboyish. Pants, hoodies, that sort of thing. My family’s been adamant about not cutting my hair, so I’m growing it out.”
Men’s and women’s clothes do differ quite a bit, but that wasn’t the point right now.
The driver’s expression grew increasingly puzzled.
Just then, a red light stopped the car.
His eyes flicked to me in the rearview mirror, darting back and forth, trembling with uncertainty, as if he had no idea how to respond.
Wait, is talking about my figure sexual harassment? No, this should be fine… right?
“But a friend suggested I try dressing up, and since I’ve never really worn girly clothes, I’m not sure. Like skirts or flowy dresses.”
“…So?”
“What do you think? Would I look good in those?”
Even thinking about it myself, it felt impossible.
Honestly, all I could imagine was awkwardness and weirdness.
My family would obviously say it’d suit me.
So, even if it’s just one person’s opinion, I wanted to hear it.
I couldn’t keep wallowing in self-denial, hiding in oversized hoodies forever.
If I let myself spiral into weird thoughts again, worse than this time, I was scared of what I might do.
“…I don’t know if I should say this, but…”
“Whatever you say, I won’t get upset or cause a scene, so please be honest.”
I couldn’t tell whose nervous swallow that was.
I’d thought I didn’t care about others’ gazes, but facing someone directly and hearing how I looked made me tense.
What if he says it wouldn’t suit me?
Maybe I should look for androgynous kids’ clothes.
No, even if he says it’d suit me, I’m not rushing to wear that stuff.
“…You already look, uh, quite feminine.”
“…What?”
“No, I didn’t mean anything weird!”
His flustered response left me staring blankly.
Soon, as if he’d gathered his thoughts, he continued, just as the light turned green.
The low hum of the engine swelled and faded.
“I get what you’re saying. You’ve got, uh, a cute vibe, I guess?
Your voice and manner are refined, and your figure feels more cute than tomboyish.
You don’t really need skirts or revealing clothes to emphasize femininity…”
“…Please let me off at the next intersection.”
“It’s not necessary… huh?”
“Sorry, just at the next intersection, please.”
I couldn’t muster the courage to lift my head, buried almost in my lap.
What the heck?
Cute? Feminine?
This is embarrassingly intense.
It feels like I’m playing a prank I shouldn’t.
“Sorry, miss, I didn’t mean to—”
“No, no, I’m not mad. Don’t worry, just pull over quick…”
I thought hearing an opinion from a stranger I’d never see again wouldn’t faze me, but this was way more embarrassing than I expected.
My face burned, prickling like I had a fever.
Were my ears red too?
What kind of expression was the driver making?
I just couldn’t stay in here anymore…!
“Sorry… I’m really not trying to make a scene.”
“No, I’m the one who’s sorry—”
“It’s fine, keep the change, just please forget today ever happened…”
I don’t remember what I said to the driver’s repeated apologies.
I just know I spent a long time staring at my feet, cooling my flushed cheeks, until I caught the next taxi.
Part 5
“My sister’s coming to watch the stream again today!”
– Woooo! Cheungjeokun, we believed in you!
“Thanks for the 5,000-won donation, MouseBerryMix nim! Haha, show some gratitude for my relentless efforts to bring her back!”
– Make her do a double-hand heart and say “I love you” for 100,000 won.
“Thanks for the 10,000-won donation, TwoEyesTooturuBbaraBba nim.
But she’d never do that. You can tell from her voice—she’s not the type.”
– You’re family, make it happen, lol.
– A heart with her adorable fingers
– When’s she coming?
– I thought she wouldn’t come back after people begged to see her face…
– Didn’t watch the late-night stream? She said “good night” to every donor, totally hooked on our charm, lol.
“What charm? She’s just bored and watching. She’s got nothing to do during break.”
– Swan
– I’d worship a swan like that forever…
“Calling her a swan when you’re all just as jobless.”
Sanghyeon chuckled.
He was thrilled with how things were going.
The increased revenue from that day was great, the viewers’ positive reactions to Yoonseo were great, and her positive response to them was great too.
He’d been pretending not to care since Junseok disliked making others worry, but Sanghyeon knew from the doctor and his own eyes that Yoonseo’s state was fragile.
He had enough sense to know her excuse of being “tired” last night wasn’t the whole reason she skipped the stream.
“Alright, quick bathroom break before she gets here.”
– Isn’t the toilet your Summoner’s Rift, Cheungjeokun?
– Dropping a big one every game, lol.
“Tch! I’m Diamond, unlike you snakes with your twisted minds. My border’s a different color!”
– That’s Bronze-Silver-Gold hate.
– Upper body skill in a lower body game, lol.
Yoonseo looked genuinely happy interacting with the viewers.
The doctor had stressed the importance of affirming her to prevent self-denial or disgust.
Sanghyeon believed their kind reactions would help her adjust to her situation.
“Anyway, bathroom. It’s a big one.”
– Gross.
– Nasty.
– Ew.
– Don’t talk about curry while I’m eating poop, lol.
Still, she seemed tired staying up late, so he’d send her off early tonight.
With that thought, Sanghyeon left the room.
– ???
– Said he was pooping, and he’s back already?
A cautious sound of the door opening.
Footsteps followed.
Some viewers, sensing something off, posted curious chats.
“Hm? Is this live right now…?”
– SIS IS HERE!!!!!!
– Sis! Sis! Sis!
– Ugh, that cute voice…
The stream was on standby mode, and the voice clearly wasn’t Cheungjeokun’s.
It was a voice many viewers remembered, one all his fans had at least heard of—his sister’s.
It echoed over the playful standby screen.
– Cheungjeokun’s in the bathroom…
“I came because it seemed like a good chance. Sanghyeon… or, Cheungjeokun here, right?
He’s so worried he’d never let me show my face on stream.”
The chat flooded with question marks.
He’d been adamant about hiding her face—what changed?
– Sis… you don’t have to push yourself…
– Yeah, we’re happy with just your voice…
– Okay, I do wanna see, though.
“Some people donated 100,000 won to see my face… I’d feel bad hiding forever because of personal reasons.”
A giggle rang out.
Clattering sounds suggested she was fiddling to turn on the camera and switch the screen.
“…? How do I get the camera to show in the corner like last time…?”
– The camera’s probably off. Check the side or back—
– Sis, seriously, you don’t have to push yourself ;;
– Don’t do it if it’s hard, Sis
“What’s the big deal? Showing my face won’t wear it out. …Though I might be a bit hurt if I see ‘disappointing’ comments.”
Her mumbled words flipped the chat again.
With her resolve so clear, most seemed to think, If she’s okay with it, why not?
– Sis… you’re probably older, but why so cute…
– Sis Punch! Sis Punch! Sis Punch! She’s a goddess!
“Cute…? What does that—oh, got it.”
The camera powered on.
Following the chat’s sparse instructions, she tweaked settings.
Soon, in the corner where Cheungjeokun’s smug smile usually sat, a petite girl appeared.
Rich honey-colored hair.
Large eyes matching its hue.
Pale skin, almost fragile, contrasting the vivid eyes.
Slender arms and shoulders, only half-visible before, now clear.
“Hm…? Did I mess something up? The chat stopped. I didn’t touch anything but the camera.”
As everyone stared at the camera feed, forgetting to type, she fidgeted anxiously with the keyboard and mouse, unaware of their trance.
She’s cute, let’s keep watching.
That’s what Cheungjeokun’s viewers thought in unison, too captivated to chat.