Chapter 22: Tangerine Flower Paper (4)
Part 9
“So, what got into you to suddenly start streaming solo?”
“It really wasn’t a big deal…”
Slumped over the table, melting from embarrassment and self-loathing, I was killing time when the culprit himself casually strolled over and started talking.
Just moments ago, this guy had been gleefully teasing me while I was trembling at my desk after ending the stream, so I wanted to snap back, but…
“You’re starting to accept it now?”
“…Yeah, I’m trying to.”
I glanced at Sanghyeon, and his expression looked too serious for the light, joking tone he’d used.
Watching him open the fridge with a slightly stiff face, I slowly straightened up.
Was there something he wanted to say?
With his stream starting soon, it didn’t seem like it’d be a long talk, but it didn’t feel trivial either.
“I know it’s late to say this, but I feel really bad about everything, hyung.”
“…Out of nowhere?”
“I tried to be considerate—keeping your face off, telling viewers to watch their mouths—but honestly, I benefited from you being on my streams. Ugh, I’m not saying this right.”
His sudden, almost confessional words caught me off guard.
Benefited, huh?
Probably about the donations that spiked whenever I appeared.
I’d seen him thrilled about the increased revenue before.
But why the apology?
“…I told myself it’d be good for your mental health to talk to people without showing your face, but honestly, I also nudged you into it for the money. You always seem so chill, so I couldn’t tell if you were genuinely enjoying it or just going along with it…”
He kept stirring the fridge aimlessly, avoiding my gaze.
His attempt to act nonchalant was so obvious it almost made me laugh.
What, all that buildup for this?
“Even then, you never said, ‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to.’ …Taking advantage of family in a tough spot.”
“Why bring this up now?”
His aimless fridge rummaging finally stopped.
Trying to match his calm vibe, I forced a straight face, though my lips twitched.
If he noticed, oh well.
“…I don’t know, seeing you stream alone just hit me hard. Guilt, I guess. Streaming’s stressful, you know? There are some real lunatics out there, and I knew it might not help you much, but…”
His words stumbled, like he wasn’t sure what he was even saying, but I got the gist.
So that’s what he was worried about.
I couldn’t hold back a chuckle.
His rambling voice cut off as he heard it.
“Pfft… snrk…”
“…Hyung?”
“Hahaha…! Oh man, I can’t hold it in. No way, I can’t!”
Once the laughter started, it poured out like a broken dam.
His abruptly silenced voice, the awkward pause, and his bewildered expression flickering in my blurry vision—I laughed at it all.
My high-pitched cackling echoed through the house for a while.
Good thing we didn’t live in an apartment.
“…Oh, my stomach. I’m dying. Water… gimme water…”
“Uh, uh… okay.”
Still clutching my stomach with my head down, I reached out blindly as a shadow loomed nearby.
A hesitant movement, then a cup’s handle brushed my fingers.
Its cool touch felt nice, but with my shoulders still shaking, I hurriedly tilted it to my mouth to avoid spilling.
“Cough… hack…!”
“Hey, slow down!”
Of course, I choked.
Part 10
“Anyway, I really do go on your streams because it’s fun. Today’s stream—sure, I said I needed someone to talk to, but deep down, I think I leaned into it because streaming’s fun.”
“…Your energy didn’t seem fake, that’s for sure.”
“Hey, you’re the one apologizing here.”
I shot him a glare, and Sanghyeon’s head, which had started to lift, drooped again.
Seizing the moment, I curled my lips into a smirk.
I was dying to say, “Actually, I secretly turned on the cam and had a blast chatting with viewers!” just to see his reaction, but I kept my tone calm and continued.
“…Talked things out well with the guys?”
“Not exactly like before, but…”
A quick glance at the clock showed it was nearing 5 p.m.
If I kept him any longer, it might mess with his stream.
It’s a hobby for me, but it’s his job.
Reliability’s probably a big deal for him… right?
“Still, we talked it out and agreed to keep being friends going forward.”
He seemed to have more to say but couldn’t get it out.
Some cliché about guy-girl dynamics?
Or something about streaming?
Either way, no need to pry.
I’d decided to stop expecting special treatment, and since they’d waited for me, I’d wait for them too.
“…Phew. I was really worried, so thanks for clearing it up.”
“If you’re grateful, buy me a cam. Viewers were begging for it.”
“…If you’re cool with it, I’ve got no say, but.”
“Still worried?”
No answer.
I let out a small laugh and stood from the chair.
Sanghyeon, startled by my sudden movement, looked up.
I gently placed my hand on his slightly messy hair.
It’d been ages since I’d done this—maybe the gender change made it less awkward?
“Even if I look younger now, it’s still your big brother in here. Stop worrying. I’m not that fragile.”
“You were crying and refusing to eat in the hospital…”
“You always have to get the last word, huh?”
“Argh?!”
I grabbed a fistful of his hair.
Thankfully, my weaker strength spared him from losing a chunk.
“…I’ve got an old cam, but giving you a beat-up one would probably piss off the viewers.”
“Is there a big difference between cheap and expensive ones?”
“Mine’s not exactly high-end, but it’s decent. Real top-tier ones show your pores when zoomed in.”
“…That sounds awful.”
“Your skin’s flawless anyway.”
Part 11
[Anyone see Cheungjeokun’s stream title?] – Anonymous
– Says there’s a special guest—could it be her?
┕ Anonymous: ? Who
┕ Anonymous (OP): Nunabbattajo, duh!
┕ Anonymous: Nunabbatta’s on all the time. Not exactly a “special guest” anymore lol.
┕ Anonymous (OP): She streamed solo today for some reason—think this is her cam debut? I just wanna see her face once ;
┕ Anonymous: ? Wait, you don’t know what she looks like?
┕ Anonymous (OP): ? She’s never shown her face, how would I know?
┕ Anonymous: lolololol rip
┕ Anonymous: rip
┕ Anonymous (OP): What’s that, you jerks?!?