Chapter 1: It is a national rule for returnees to be hit by the Isekai Truck.

The night of the full moon, a brilliantly illuminated night at the waterside park.

Underneath the dimly flickering streetlights, the air suddenly shimmered, and from it, as if it were a living mouth, something wobbled several times before spewing something out.

Ugh… ugh-

Upon closer inspection, it looked like something utterly repulsive was being vomited out…

That which was spewed out along with unidentified liquids jumped up from its place the moment it touched the ground.

With an appearance that seemed to be on high alert, it began to inspect its own body.

It had arms and legs, and a total of 30… no, 20 fingers and toes.

And then, sensing the silence that had fallen around it, it began to look around.

The night view of the city visible beyond the streetlights, and people walking around in groups, though a little further away.

And…

“O… ooh….”

It had finally found it.

A road paved with a mixture of various aggregates and asphalt, not the kind of ground where you could feel the individual grains of sand and soil.

“Ah, asphalt…”

The irrefutable evidence of a modern era, rather than some unknown medieval era. It decided to examine it more closely.

[Attempting to observe the target.]
[Rolling the dice….]
[Rumble… a 1D20 is rolled.] 1D20 – Roll a 20-sided die once
[…1]

“This fcking piece of sht dice! Why a fumble from the start! I rolled the dice for the first time here, shouldn’t it at least give me some kind of bonus! This sht-”

Fumble – A situation where a 1 or the lowest value is rolled on the dice.

[The value is significantly lower than the target’s intelligence stat.]
[Failure!]
[The target’s actions become simplistic.]

Gah.
Having stopped mid-sentence, this naked primitive man didn’t seem to care about the gazes around him and immediately stuck out his tongue and licked the ground.

It was a behavior that a person with normal intelligence wouldn’t do, but the body, modified by the dice roll, forced the action.

Reduced from a returnee from another world who couldn’t stop rejoicing to a hamster-level of licking its tongue.

“Gah.”

Although it was possible to feel the unique smell of burning rubber and the nauseating taste without any filtration, at this moment, it was no different from the taste of heaven.

“Hee… hee… hee!”

A woman who was running suddenly looked to the side at the sound of laughter-

Without hesitation, she hardened her expression and increased her speed.

“Damn, he’s a crazy fcker…”

A crazy man, naked in the moonlight, licking the asphalt ground under a streetlight was there.

Moreover, he was even giggling, making him a grotesque figure.

“Please don’t come, don’t come, don’t come, don’t come.”

It was a sight that might have caused a person with a weak constitution to collapse.

“Excuse me? Is this 911? There’s a naked crazy person laughing in the waterside park…”

Having diligently reported the subject, she shuddered, fearing the man might follow her, and quickly left the place.

Regardless of that, the man seemed to be very happy, stretching his hand towards the sky, and the moon hung at the end of it.

A brightly shining single full moon.

Not two, three, or four, but a single one.

Not some crazy binary stars pulling the planets whole or stars approaching too close that the sky shines brightly even in the middle of the night, but a pure moon.

Not a moon that causes the continents to be shattered as it falls or that causes the water level to rise suddenly to the point where it becomes Waterworld 2 overnight-

A normal moon, showing little moon rabbits pounding mochi, was there.

[The penalty is lifted.]

It was certain.

This was Earth.

“Yatta… Owarunda…” (I did it… It’s over…)

This [Yudahee] has finally overcome all adversity and hardship and has safely arrived on this [Earth]…!

Tearing apart the immortals… Killing the immortal with immortality… Stand ㅍ… no, crushing all sorts of monstrous creature compilations, and finally!

This proved that no one could surpass this [Yudahee].

“Kiee-e-e-e-k!”

At the same time as the cry of emotion, the presence felt in the distance began to quickly move away.

[Recommended post) A miniature figure appears in the waterside park ㅋㅋㅋ]

• A picture of a crazy guy naked, howling at the sky. Webp
  ㄴHey you crazy bastard, didn’t you put a warning sign?
  ㄴIn the meantime, the middle one is good ㅗㅜㅑ
  ㄴDid he escape from a mental hospital?
  ㄴHey, you btch, change it to a gif when you’re saying good things.
  ㄴI can’t see the original one, so I press the recommendation.
  ㄴYou hate apples, huh?

Adding in real time on the internet as a bonus.

Of course, Yudahee didn’t know that fact.

If you drop the family name and just say the name, it sounds like Dahee, the name of an ordinary woman, but no matter how you look at it, Yudahee was an ordinary man with a robust third leg in the middle.

Of course, he was about 100 million light-years away from the word “ordinary” right now.

Walking slowly towards the streetlight, what Yudahee discovered was none other than an old coffee vending machine.

Yudahee’s gaze trembled greatly at the sight of the vending machine.

“Mom!”

It wasn’t because he was happy to have found the artifacts of modern society, but because he had found the damages it had caused, the voice came out.

Oh my god, even though it was outdoors, a milk coffee for 500 won? How could such a price come out without the world collapsing once?

The price of milk coffee Yudahee remembered was 100 won or 200 won.

That was the line he considered the limit, so the shock was more than doubled.

It was a reality that was hard to accept unless he realized that it had been over 10 years since Yudahee left this world and that the Wuhan-Batman had swept the world, causing prices to be sht.

However, that didn’t mean Yudahee gave up drinking milk coffee.

As a rule, isn’t it a part of the vending machine that there are coins underneath it? Even if he was a wild and raw body without a single thread of clothes right now, if he made a little effort, he could find some coins.

He didn’t care at all about getting his hands and body dirty with the dirt and dust accumulated underneath.

Compared to the days when he survived by being covered in foreign news outlets’ sh*t, it was easier than twisting a child’s wrist.

“Oh… I found it!”

After a long struggle with the ground, what he found was a 500-won coin, engraved with “1998.”

If he had known what value it had, Yudahee would never have put it in the vending machine, but what did it matter now?

The milk coffee of the moment was 100 times, 1,000 times more precious than gold of the same weight.

He inserted the coin and pressed the blinking green button, and thump, a paper cup fell, and zrru…, milk coffee began to come out.

And after about 15 seconds, with a beep- sound, the machine turned off, and Yudahee was able to lift the warm paper cup.

The overwhelming aroma of instant coffee rising, he couldn’t help it and took a sip-

“Ah.”

The wait was short, and the joy was long.

This miraculous sip, in which the sweetness of cream and sugar flowing down his throat captured his tongue and did not let go.

It was the sweetness of modern civilization, which he had never felt in the other dimension, other universe.

“I… I’m glad I’m alive…”

A single tear rolled down Yudahee’s eyes.

If you were to express this emotion with dice, it would be like rolling a 20, the maximum value, about 10 times in a row.

The taste of vending machine coffee, which he was drinking now that he had returned to Earth, was a memory so intense that it threw away the religious activity chocolate pie he used to eat in the training camp restroom to the trash can.

Having been forcibly dragged into a world he didn’t know, barely surviving the cracks of all kinds of foreign news outlets, he lived for… for…

“Uhm… how many years was it?”

One, two, three, four, it was a long time that it was meaningless to count by folding his fingers… so…

“…”

Ah, I don’t know.

Yudahee mumbled that when it didn’t come to mind, it was a good idea to roll the dice with a relaxed mind.

[Attempting to self-contemplation.]
[Rolling the dice….]
[Rumble… a 1D20 is rolled.]
[…1!]

Ah.

A cry of admiration burst out of Yudahee’s mouth.

Not in a good way, but in a bad way.

“This sht, a double fumble? This is rigged! It’s rigged, hey, you dice btch-”

[If you want to… you know?]

Someone said, rolling the dice is also a skill.

If there was no such skill, you could crush it with amazing luck.

But Yudahee didn’t have either of them now, and it was right to quietly accept the penalty.

It didn’t take long for Yudahee, who had been pointing at nothing in the air, to become a hamster again and start licking the milk coffee he had spilled on the ground.

“Gah”

Stones were being chewed and sand was getting stuck between his teeth… but what else was important to this hamster besides the sweetness?

The owner’s love? A warm embrace?

No, all that was needed was the feast of sugar and cream.

It took a little time for Yudahee, who was near the beast as he had been licking the ground for a while, to turn back into a human, but isn’t it good if it is good?

Congratulations, congratulations.

As the night of today was about to pass-

Without any sign, an Isekai truck that suddenly crashed the vending machine and appeared, showing off its 100W bright headlights, pushed Yudahee with its enormous weight.

“Gae…e…G-guueeekk!”

The impact was so great that his body bounced off and rolled several times, to the point that the tree trunks he crashed into shook and the leaves fell even though it wasn’t autumn.

The returnee, who was twitching his arms and legs like a frog hit by a rock, was being watched by someone in the driver’s seat of the Isekai reincarnation truck….

“SSR-class returnee! You’re mine!”

The insane maiden god, Dike Astraea, was laughing and shouting.