Chapter 2: Fire Spirit.
I carefully pushed the nutrients into the lighter’s flame.
The green sphere in my other hand melted away like cotton candy and shrank in size.
At the same time, the tiny flame that had been only the size of a ten-won coin grew larger and larger.
Before long the fire was raging so fiercely it was hard to believe it had come from a cheap plastic lighter.
But something still felt off.
‘What is it? What’s missing?’
I had a gut feeling that if I couldn’t fill this something, the spirit creation would fail.
If that happened, all the trouble Pet had gone through extorting the neighborhood stray cats would become completely pointless.
It would just turn into a ‘wasted-effort spirit’.
‘When I first made Pet, how exactly did I do it……’
I desperately dug through my memories and began shaping the outer surface of the flame.
First I had to set the form.
Making it look like me the way I had with Pet was not a good idea.
This was a spirit I was going to put up for adoption and receive money for, after all.
But if I wasn’t going to use myself as the standard, what should I base it on?
A dog? A cat?
Those were the safest and most sellable options, but I rejected them right away.
Stuck in my room with only Pet for company, I hadn’t seen any real animals recently.
If I clumsily copied them and ended up creating some neither-this-nor-that monster, a familiar human form would still be better.
I kneaded the flickering flames and gradually shaped a human silhouette.
First of all, the nutrients were severely lacking.
When I had molded Pet I had poured in a full month’s worth of nutrients, but what I was holding now was only a week’s worth.
Naturally I had to drastically reduce the overall size.
I trimmed the arms and legs into stubby shapes and cut the hair into a short bob instead of long locks.
It was a desperate struggle to minimize maintenance costs.
I could almost slightly understand the position of those nitrogen-packaging companies that slapped the name ‘snacks’ on their products.
The completed skeleton was a cute body with roughly a three-head proportion.
Next was the face.
‘……This is annoying. Should I just try putting my own face on it first?’
With the remaining nutrients I roughly copied my own features.
But when I stuck my face onto this short, stubby body……
“Ugh!”
It was just plain disgusting.
Was this that uncanny valley thing?
‘No choice. I’ll just mash it like a steamed bun.’
This way I could still protect my own face to some degree.
Sending a brief apology to the little one about to be born, I punched the flame’s face with my fist and rounded it out smoothly.
After heavily mashing the features and leaving only vacant eyes and a tiny mouth, a rather cute flavor came to life.
Now it was finally time to breathe in a personality.
Just as I was about to add a spoonful of passion and heat befitting a fire spirit.
“Whoops, mistake!”
My fingertip slipped and a huge amount of ‘sleepyhead’ and ‘crybaby’ attributes poured in.
I hurriedly tried to scoop them back out, but the nutrients had already completely soaked into the flame.
“……Well, does it matter?”
Anyway, this little one would soon be nestled in the arms of some rich and reliable Ascender.
A bit of rich sensitivity could be a charm point if you looked at it that way.
Was there really some crazy bstard who would return an adopted pet just because its personality was weird?
“There isn’t, right?”
…If there was, I could only pray that such a crazy customer wouldn’t become the owner.
I squeezed my eyes shut and compromised.
It was only natural for a beginner to find everything difficult.
If I just kept fiddling with it a few more times…
A moment later, I turned to the side with a satisfied smile.
“Shall we write the adoption post now?”
At my words, Pet also raised the empty plastic bottle with a determined expression and sparkled its eyes.
One day, a post appeared on the Ascender Gallery.
[Adopting out a spirit]
Author: Mokinseoksim
Adopting out one fire spirit friend!
Anyone interested, please contact meㅎㅎ
(Link)
-? What’s this? Why’s this bstard suddenly doing this?
-Aren’t you using four-character idioms anymore?
-A spirit? What spirit?
In the Ascender Gallery, ‘Mokinseoksim’ was a fairly well-known named gonick.
He stayed in the gallery for twenty hours a day, and if anyone called ‘Mokinseoksim-nim?’ he left a comment in less than ten seconds.
Up to that point he was just one of the ordinary loser Asbungs you could find anywhere.
But the fact that he dumped ‘cultured’ shtposts three times a day like clockwork—morning, noon, and night—without missing a single day was still pretty fresh even to them.
Well, the reason this kind of aggro even worked was because real Ascenders barely used the Ascender Gallery at all.
Famous high-rankers or guild-affiliated Ascenders used their own closed exclusive information networks.
Therefore nine-tenths of the humans planted here were either third-rate Ascenders who forever hovered around the lower floors, or ordinary shut-ins who hadn’t even awakened yet but still ran their mouths giving advice.
[What’s a spirit?]
Author: Anonymous
(Green frog meme stroking its chin in thought)
Were there things like spirits in the Tower?
I don’t think I’ve ever heard of them while climbing
-Wasn’t that something that appears above the 50th floor?
ㄴYeah, it’s a word Asbungs will never hear in their lifetime ㅋㅋ
ㄴ? You’re selling something like that?
ㄴNo way ㅋㅋ
-There are goblins and orcs, so of course there are spirits, you gay ㅋㅋ
ㄴAre there elves too?
ㄴAsbung… there are no elves…
ㄴLie. Is a blonde big-titted loli reverse-rape lewd school-uniform dense clumsy virgin mesugaki futanari elf really not real?
ㄴWhy the futa?
ㄴHehehe
ㄴGay gay…
[My noona is a spirit mage, AMA]
Author: Anonymous
.
-What does a spirit look like?
ㄴ(Author) I dunno?
ㄴ? You said your noona is a spirit mage.
ㄴ(Author) Yeah
ㄴDoesn’t our Asbung’s words not make sense front and back? ㅋㅋ
ㄴ(Author) My noona is a spirit mage but she has no spirit ㅋㅋ
ㄴ??
-If your class is spirit mage but you have no spirit, aren’t you just unemployed?
ㄴ(Author) Correct ㅋㅋ
ㄴUnreal
-Is your noona pretty?
ㄴ(Author) (Would I tell you emoji)
[Ah I used to like the four-character-idiom gonick ㅋㅋ]
Author: Anonymous
He was just a salesman bstard ㅋㅋ
-Real ㅋㅋ
-There are a ton of scammers these days ㅋㅋ
-Doesn’t that guy also do custom plastic model orders?
ㄴ(Author) What’s that?
ㄴThat high-quality figure from last time?
ㄴYeah (photo)
ㄴIs this real?
ㄴ(Author) What the
“Huh?”
After that the atmosphere of the gallery seemed to be flowing in a strange direction.
[What? The four-character-idiom villain was our master craftsman?]
Author: Gembung
(Photo of a figure of a female police officer in stockings with a big butt aiming a gun)
As of today I withdraw my support for Mokinseoksim.
From today I leave the support relationship
Mokinseoksim and I become one body as one
Any attack on Mokinseoksim will be regarded as an attack on me.
There are 7 billion people in the world… (more)
-Where do you order that?
ㄴ(Author) (Link)
ㄴOh thanks thanks
-Wow look at the quality ㅋㅋ I can only laugh ㅋㅋ
-Gempyeong ㅋㅋ
ㄴOtaku game GOAT
ㄴUnshin ㅋㅋ
ㄴPla ㅋㅋ
ㄴBungzu ㅋㅋ
ㄴNige ㅋㅋ
-Can you do original characters too?
ㄴ(Author) Probably? It’s written in the rulebook
ㄴThank youㅠㅠ
-Wow that as
-ㅋㅋ Isn’t that thing insanely hard?
ㄴ…It’s a figure, of course it’s hard, you gay
ㄴWhy do you need the texture for?
ㄴYou know ㅋ
ㄴEuheuheu
ㄴEoheoheo
-(Author) Soft ones are possible tooㅇㅇ
ㄴHuh
ㄴ??? Is this real for real?
The bait instantly changed from ‘spirit’ to ‘custom plastic figure orders’.
Their interest had completely shifted to the firm butts and tits of 2D beautiful girls.
Even though the era of superhumans who climb the Tower and beat down monsters had arrived, the instincts of males ruled by their lower halves hadn’t changed one bit.
[Figure custom order tips]
[Ah why did I only find out about Mokinseoksim now… I wasted 3,000 won]
[Wow what’s this? You can even make the inside?]
[Basic setup recommendation for clumsy-handed Asbungsㅇㅇ]
[Mokinseoksim is a god!]
[Figure gallery current status ㅋㅋ]
[Otakus are going crazy ㅋㅋ]
“…Is this the Ascender Gallery or the Figure Gallery?”
[Guys, if this gets out won’t the figure company stock prices drop?]
Author: Gembung
Thinking of shorting, what do you think?
-This bstard’s method is different even in this situation ㅋㅋ
-Fcking expertㄷㄷ
-Stock investing is Gempyeong ㅋㅋ
I stared blankly at the smartphone screen.
“Haa…”
As the person involved, a hollow laugh escaped me.
Pet, who could also be called a party to this, slapped its own tiny forehead with its short hand—smack!
We had underestimated human desire.
-Ding!
“…”
I quietly shifted my gaze to the work laptop.
-Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!
“Oh my…”
Pet, who had originally been pure white, turned even whiter, dropped the plastic bottle it was holding, and clutched its head.
-Thud. Roll roll roll…
As if to mock Pet, the laptop spat out alarm sounds like crazy.
-Ding!Ding!Ding!Ding!Ding!Ding!Ding!Ding!
Inquiry emails and messages poured down like a waterfall and completely filled the laptop screen.
In the end Pet pretended to foam at the mouth and collapsed flat on the floor.
For the time being, the atmosphere of pushing Pet outside to go fetch nutrients was completely out of the question.
-Ding.
Just then, among the figure order notifications, one different notification sound rang out.
When I looked at the smartphone, a notification window popped up at the top of the screen.
A single message that had flown in through the gallery messenger.
[Are you really selling a spirit?]