Chapter 4: A Futile Farewell (4).

Time flowed helplessly, and before I knew it, it was the third year of middle school.

For some reason, Hayeon came to my room carrying both contact lenses and glasses.

“How is it? Isn’t this better than the glasses?”

“Well, I guess so…”

“Hey, stop looking at your phone and look at my face! Which one is better?”

“Okay. Why are you getting mad. I just need to look, right. I’ll look.”

While I was deeply absorbed in a mobile game, Hayeon kept putting the glasses on and taking them off, asking for my evaluation.

I answered half-heartedly because it was annoying.

“…Both look fine.”

Honestly, either way, Hayeon was just Hayeon to me.

She was pretty to begin with, so she looked good whether she wore glasses or not.

Then Hayeon asked as if she was frustrated.

“Ugh… Then if you had to choose just one of the two, which one?”

“If I had to pick, the lenses seem better?”

“Really? Okay.”

When I said that, Hayeon folded the temples of the glasses and carefully put them away in the case.

“But Yul. Are you really going to react like that?”

“No. I told you I’d look after this round is over.”

“…So the game is more important than me. What is this.”

Maybe my indifferent reaction had hurt her feelings.

Hayeon showed an emotion she usually didn’t reveal outwardly and muttered quietly.

“Haa… Who do you think I’m doing this for… Seriously.”

Of course, that voice was buried under the game sound and I couldn’t hear it well.

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Still, maybe my eye for it had been right.

Hayeon’s beauty shone even more without the glasses, and she became much more popular at school as well.

But approaching Hayeon, who had no expression and spoke little, wasn’t easy, and Hayeon didn’t actively try to make more friends besides me.

They say to take down a general, you aim for the horse.

The kids who wanted to get close to Hayeon started gradually approaching me, since I was close to her.

Probably my height, which had almost stopped growing after middle school, and my kind-looking face played a part too.

Unlike Hayeon, as I grew up my build became smaller and my appearance turned ordinary.

Even in my own opinion, my personality was quite gentle and generous.

Maybe it was because I had been taking care of Hayeon since we were little.

Anyway, to them I might have been an easier target than Hayeon.

Thanks to that, I became a kid with quite a few friends in class.

“…So what are you two really?”

“Right. I was honestly curious. Why is Hayeon only close with you?”

During PE class, since it was free time, I sat on the stands to rest and the kids gathered around me.

Whenever there was time left for chatting like this, this kind of talk would come up sometimes.

After all, Hayeon, with her outstanding looks in the class, was everyone’s interest.

Not only the boys but many of the girls also wanted to get close to her.

To them, the relationship between Hayeon and me must have been interesting gossip material.

“And sometimes she just stares blankly at you. Did you know?”

“Really? Kyaaak! So there is something between you two.”

Every time, the answer I gave was always the same.

“How should I put it… We’re just old friends. That’s all.”

It might not have been the answer they wanted, but it was the truth.

It was certain that we were bound more tightly than other kids, but I thought that was only as friends.

In the first place, during middle school I had never thought that deeply about our relationship.

“Is that all? Really?”

“Doesn’t seem like it… Right?”

“Ooh. Yoon Geonyul, tell the truth! Don’t lie.”

Still, I didn’t particularly want to reveal Hayeon’s and my personal history.

It was a story that wouldn’t benefit anyone by telling it.

To quiet the pouring jeers and suspicions, I had no choice but to repeat the same words loudly.

“Hayeon and I are just friends. Friends. There’s absolutely nothing like that. Let’s stop talking about this now.”

“…Aww.”

When I said that, the kids seemed to give up on digging further.

The atmosphere was one of resignation, as if they felt nothing more would come out even if they pried.

Just as I was about to catch my breath, if only Hayeon hadn’t walked down from behind the stands.

“…Yul. What did you just say?”

The moment the center of the topic, Hayeon, appeared, the kids fell silent.

She was approaching me with a somewhat cold face.

“What?”

“Say what you just said again.”

A somewhat chilling gaze.

When Hayeon made eyes like this, it meant she was quite angry.

I didn’t know why Hayeon was angry, but thinking that I shouldn’t provoke her further right now, I simply followed her words.

“…I just said you and I are friends.”

“Just friends?”

Hayeon’s eyebrows rose as if they were being lifted.

It meant her mood was greatly disturbed.

I tried to find where the mistake was in the words I had just said, but I simply couldn’t tell.

“Why, what’s strange about it?”

“…Are we just friends?”

“Then we’re not?”

…I didn’t know what it was, but this was a big problem.

Worrying about what kind of aftermath would hit when the two of us were left alone at home, I trembled inside.

Hayeon was the type who held long grudges when she pouted, so comforting her was quite a hassle.

— Swoosh.

Then I felt a soft and warm sensation on top of my thigh.

Hayeon’s not-so-large body in her PE uniform slid right into my arms.

Very naturally.

“W-what? All of a sudden?”

My body froze solid at Hayeon’s sudden action.

The surrounding kids watched us while making “Ooh” sounds as if they were watching a drama.

Still, Hayeon pulled my arm and made me hug her.

“…Even like this, are we just friends?”

“You… you… what are you doing.”

Looking at Hayeon who asked me that while turning to face me, I didn’t know what to say.

I simply lowered my head deeply out of embarrassment from the gazes gathering around us.

Her face was as brazen as usual, but she couldn’t hide her flushed ears.

She soon slipped out of my arms and scurried away behind the stands.

I blankly watched her back.

“…Why is she like that? All of a sudden.”

Feeling my heart pound at a frightening speed as if I had just finished exercising.

I realized for the first time that we weren’t just friends.

At least to Hayeon.

That didn’t mean there was any rapid development in our relationship.

Hayeon simply continued physical contact with me more naturally than before, and I didn’t particularly reject it.

Then sometimes I would be the one to hold her hand first.

I didn’t dislike Hayeon either.

With the time we had built up, maybe liking each other wasn’t that strange.

We were the ones who understood each other best, after all.

I thought it wasn’t an ordinary relationship.

You could call it something like the ambiguous “something” relationship that appears in dramas or movies.

Maybe we were both a little afraid. If we got rejected, we might not even be able to remain as friends.

Both Hayeon and I had become relationships that were hard to separate from our lives now.

That way, we became first-year high school students.

“Hey, Seo Hayeon! Let’s go together. Together.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Ah, why are you pouting again? At least tell me what it is so I can know.”

Hayeon started walking home at a fast pace, leaving me behind.

I hurriedly changed into my slippers and ran after her.

After entering high school, the distinction regarding the opposite sex became even clearer, and there were often times when Hayeon pouted at me like this.

Perhaps because of her unhonest personality, Hayeon never told me the reason directly.

So whenever she showed signs of pouting like this, I always had to be the one to soothe her.

“…If you don’t know, why don’t you just live your whole life not knowing?”

“Why are you saying it in such a hurtful way again.”

When I subtly grabbed Hayeon’s hand, she held it back as if she couldn’t win against me.

This was one of the skills I had gained while living with her.

Hayeon seemed to have her anger easily soothed when I held her hand.

“Sorry. I don’t know what it is, but I’m sorry for now.”

When I apologized to Hayeon, she let out a sigh and began to pour out the things that had upset her.

“Haa… I even try hard not to talk much with other boys for your sake.”

“…”

“…Can’t you not hang out with Lee Yoona? She keeps subtly sending glances your way.”

“No. I’m the class president, so how can I not talk with the vice president.”

“Even during the group project you two were giggling together.”

“It’s a group project, so I can’t do it while getting angry. We still have to keep a friendly atmosphere.”

The reasons she pouted at me were mostly simple.

Most of them were because she was jealous of me getting close with other girls.

The problem was that she reacted sensitively even to things so trivial that I wouldn’t even think of them.

In the end, if I wanted to do as she wished, I needed a justification.

We were still nothing more than just friends, after all.

“…Do you get jealous if I get close with other girls?”

“Yeah. It completely ruins my mood all day. Don’t you?”

“Well, of course I would.”

When I imagined Hayeon getting close with another guy, it felt like my insides were turning over.

…In the end, there was only one solution.

It wasn’t something to keep hesitating and putting off anymore.

Maybe it was something someone should have already said.

“Hayeon. Then let’s date.”

“…”

“I was already thinking I should say it anyway… To keep distance from other girls I need a justification too… Anyway.”

At my words, Hayeon stopped right in her tracks.

She stared at me with eyes that had grown wide and round.

…Was I being rejected?

Hayeon’s lips showed no sign of opening at all.

Even though I knew she liked me, I became needlessly anxious.

It felt like the world was passing in slow motion until those lips opened.

And finally, Hayeon’s trembling mouth moved.

“…You should have said it sooner. How long were you going to make me wait. Seriously.”

With red cheeks, Hayeon lightly brushed her hair behind her ear.

At the blunt words that came out of her mouth, unlike her wavering gaze.

“Pfft.”

I burst out laughing without realizing it, and from that day we started dating.

Five years passed since Hayeon and I started dating.

We endured the hard exam preparation life together, cheering each other on.

We entered the same university and became quite famous there as a lovey-dovey couple.

We were always stuck together, and our affection deepened rather than cooling as the days went by.

— You’ve never fought even once? Does that even make sense?

— Yeah. There wasn’t really anything to fight about?

— You two must really have been matched in heaven. I fight with my girlfriend every day like we’re going to die.

From conversations I had while drinking with friends at university, I felt it a lot.

Even if there were days when Hayeon or I pouted at each other, never fighting even once while dating for five years was truly a strange thing.

I also believed that she and I were a connection matched in heaven.

So even when the military enlistment notice arrived for me, she didn’t waver.

“So when are you going to the military?”

“Hmm. Probably after finishing the second year? Everyone goes around then.”

“…Then there’s not much time left.”

With a regretful face, Hayeon grabbed my hand.

Then she buried her face in my chest and rubbed her head against me.

It was what she did when she felt gloomy.

I liked Hayeon so much and didn’t want to break up like this, so shamelessly I asked her.

“…Will you wait for me?”

“Yeah. Of course. I can’t live without you. Yoon Geonyul.”

Hayeon answered without the slightest hesitation.

Then she made her fingers into tongs, pinched my cheek, and shook it while asking.

“Then can you live without me?”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Then that settles it. No matter what happens, I’ll wait for you, so don’t worry.”

We even looked at each other’s faces and burst into laughter like that.

I was so grateful for her, and I tried hard to treat her even better during the remaining time.

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A franchise cafe near the school.

We were each living on our own after coming to university, and since our majors were different as well, we had to deliberately make time if we wanted to see each other.

So there were many days when we went on dates like this every week.

We had thought about living together, but we couldn’t find a suitable two-room place, so getting rooms as close to each other as possible was the best we could do.

“Yul. I’m going for a health checkup this weekend.”

“Really? Why a health checkup all of a sudden? You haven’t even done one once until now.”

I held a sip of iced americano in my mouth, swallowed it, and then asked her.

“I don’t know. My aunt’s company is providing it? She keeps telling me to come too because the money would be wasted otherwise.”

A health checkup sent by the large company where Hayeon’s aunt worked.

I didn’t think much of it.

Hayeon had never even had a minor illness until now.

She looked far too healthy on the outside to say there was any problem.

“Really? That’s good. Get a full checkup while you’re at it.”

…But from that day on, Hayeon’s appearance began to change little by little.

And in a very strange way.