Chapter 4: Another Failed Attempt
Whoosh
Squeak! Squeak!
“…Alright, this should do it.”
My method was really simple. A method anyone would think of for suicide.
“Ugh… So warm…”
Cutting my wrist and soaking in a bathtub to bleed out.
“Warm water really is the best…”
Even in a desert, a bath with warm water hits the spot.
“By the way, is this the first time? Seeing my naked body.”
Honestly, since I’ve been turned into a girl’s body, I thought I’d feel some resistance to seeing myself like this.
“…”
But this body is so young, it didn’t even cross my mind.
“…Let’s just get on with the suicide.”
I averted my gaze and picked up the cutter knife I found in Hoshino’s room, but that’s where the problem started.
At the time, I only tried this because it’s a common scene in movies or manga. I didn’t know the exact mechanics.
And my Kivotos body—no, my body—was tougher than I could’ve imagined.
Swipe-
“Ugh! That hurts… Tsk… But why isn’t there any blood?”
It took a ridiculous amount of time just to make a single cut.
And even when I managed to make a cut, it was barely a scratch.
In the end—
Swipe-
“Ugh!… Alright… There’s blood…”
Never one to give up, I changed my plan. Instead of one deep cut, I’d make multiple cuts to cause enough bleeding.
“This… This should be enough.”
As a result, my arm looked like it belonged to someone who’d been self-harming for years.
The bathtub was completely stained red.
Ring ring!
“Uhe~ I’m back, Sora-chan~”
I hadn’t even considered that it was time for Hoshino to return.
“…Wait, Serika, didn’t you say you were going to your part-time job?”
By the original story’s timeline, she should be working at the Shibaseki Ramen shop right now, not back so soon.
When I shot Serika a suspicious look, she avoided my eyes and said,
“Uh… W-Well, shouldn’t we deal with the Helmet Gang outside first?!”
“…Haa… Fine.”
Her behavior was honestly infuriating, but dealing with the Helmet Gang came first.
I followed Serika’s lead into the classroom where everyone was gathered, and I finally came face-to-face.
With the protagonist of this story, the saint who saves everyone.
The Teacher.
“…Damn it.”
‘He’s insanely hot.’
As expected from the plot’s convenience, he’s ridiculously good-looking.
I totally get why the students in the original story fall for him.
“Damn it…”
Seeing that face made me feel pathetic again.
If I’d at least come here with a face like that, I wouldn’t feel this miserable.
“I brought Hoshino-senpai and Sora-senpai! Senpai, snap out of it! Wake up!”
“Mnya… It’s not time to get up yet.”
“Hoshino-senpai! Sora-senpai! The Helmet Gang is attacking again! And this is the Teacher from Schale!”
“Yawn~ That’s a problem… Mnya. Nice to meet you, Teacher.”
“…Hi.”
“Yeah, nice to meet you.”
‘Damn it, even his smile is perfect.’
“Snap out of it, senpai! It’s go time! Grab your gear! We’ve got to protect the school!”
…Right, now’s not the time to wallow in self-pity.
We need to deal with the Helmet Gang as soon as possible.
…And I should probably avoid looking at the Teacher’s face. The more I see it, the worse I feel.
“…I’ll head out first.”
I couldn’t bear to keep talking while looking at him, so I avoided his gaze and rushed out of the school first.
“Don’t those guys ever get tired…?”
No matter how many times we take them down, they keep multiplying and coming back. It’s exhausting.
I gripped my trusty USAS-12 and glared at the Helmet Gang.
For the record, I got this weapon to try killing myself, but it failed.
It turned out to be pretty powerful and grew on me, so I use it all the time now.
“Alright, let’s get this over with…”
“Hey, everyone, if it’s okay, could you follow my lead?”
‘There it is. The Teacher’s leadership.’
One of the Teacher’s abilities is his leadership.
It’s said to guarantee victory in battle, even when the odds are stacked against you.
But—
Click
“No need.”
I loaded my gun and rejected his leadership.
I’m curious about his ability, but leadership like that would just get in the way of my fighting style.
“…But.”
“Teacher, you ever hear the saying, ‘It’s not the strong who survive, but the survivors who are strong’?”
“What does that—?”
“I’ll show you proof right now.”
With that, I ignored the Teacher and the Abidos kids, charging straight into the middle of the enemy.
‘…Around 50 of them, give or take?’
“Shouldn’t take five minutes.”
After a year of doing all sorts of things here, I’ve realized something about my body.
“One Abidos student is approaching!”
“Ha! Charging in alone like an idiot. Fire, everyone! It’s just one! Nothing but a target!”
Ratatatatat!
My ability—my body—is tough.
“Sorry, but that’s not enough to kill me.”
“No way! Not even a scratch!?”
Unreasonably tough.
If you quantified my defense, it’d probably be on par with or even surpass Hoshino with her shield.
Bang!
“Argh!”
“One.”
Maybe because of that, there was a time I worked as a mercenary to find ways to die and make some money.
Bang!
“Ugh!”
“Two.”
But no weapon or enemy could ever deal more than a scratch, so it was a struggle.
“Keep firing! She can’t hold out forever…!”
“I told you, it’s useless.”
Maybe because I got hit so much, I built up a tolerance to pain.
Bang! Bang!
“Three. Four.”
Thanks to constant fighting, my combat skills kept growing.
Eventually, I got strong enough to at least fight Hoshino to a draw if I went all out.
And recently—
“Uhe~ Sora-chan’s so strong~”
Just once, but I managed to beat Hoshino.
And beating Hoshino means, in other words—
“Ugh…”
“Ow… It hurts…”
“Tch, another dud?”
I’m already among the strongest in Kivotos’ world.
Whoosh!
“Ah, crap…”
After the battle, back at the Abidos classroom.
I moved to the room next door, where everyone was having a meeting, to check my gun.
“Need to change my bandages.”
Looks like a bullet grazed my wrist or something—the bandage was torn and completely unraveled.
“…”
And the scars from self-harm on my arm…
After about half a year, even with my tough body, these marks wouldn’t fade.
Sometimes, if it’s bad, they even bleed, so I’ve had to keep my wrists bandaged for a while now.
Of course, I told my juniors, who don’t know the truth, that I wear bandages because they’re cool.
“…But then they treated me like a chuunibyou for a while, haha…”
Thinking about that time makes me want to cry.
It’s a secret I’ve kept even at the cost of misunderstanding, so I should change the bandage right away, but…
“…Should I try it again, just for old times’ sake?”
Unable to resist my curiosity, I grabbed a pair of scissors nearby instead of changing the bandage.
It failed before, but with my arm in this state, maybe the blade would go deeper now.
Oh, just so you know, Hoshino usually hides sharp objects out of caution, so they’re not normally around.
But after some intense convincing, I managed to keep this one pair of scissors—the safest ones she’d allow.
“…Alright. Let’s do this.”
I’m not holding my breath, but you never know, right? Maybe it’ll work.
If it does, I might try killing myself tonight.
With that thought, I was about to plunge the scissors into my arm when—
Click
“Uh, Sora-senpai? Hoshino-senpai just said we should raid the Helmet Gang’s base…”
The door opened, and Ayane walked in to share the meeting’s results.
“…Senpai?”
Right as I was about to stab my scarred arm with the scissors.
“…Crap.”
I’m screwed.