I Have Returned as a Goddess

Chapter 4: Reality (3)

A cloudless blue sky.

Warm sunlight streamed across a table tucked inside a terrace where luxurious flowers were in full bloom.

Beautiful golden hair reflected the sunlight.

The girl carefully picked up the teacup resting on the table.

Her lips touched the crimson-red tea.

Despite her youthful appearance, her smile carried a gentle elegance.

Her name was Michelleira van Magratina.

She was the Third Princess of the Leoni Kingdom.

The girl gave a gentle smile to the red-haired man sitting across from her.

“Lord Surd, you seem to be in an exceptionally good mood.”

Sitting before the princess was a tall man who appeared to be over two meters in height.

His thick, muscular arms were covered in countless scars.

Surd Crisis.

The man once known as the strongest hero, and Cain’s adoptive father.

Surd raised his head and returned her smile.

“Hohoho, it’s almost time for my son to come home on leave.”

Sharp golden eyes gleamed beneath his brow.

Like the paw of a lion concealing its claws, a wildness that couldn’t be hidden by his smile dwelled within the man’s eyes.

The man took a sip of the tea before him and spoke.

“It’ll be almost two years since I’ve seen him.”
“Perhaps because it’s been so long, but I can’t help feeling excited.”

“Hehe…”
“It’s wonderful to see you so happy.”

The girl gently closed her eyes.

“If you would like to take leave at any time, I’ll gladly grant it.”
“Just let me know whenever you need it.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

Surd couldn’t hide his joy at the thought of being reunited with his son.

At the same time, he began steeling his heart, thinking that the time had finally come.

‘I need to pull Cain out of the military soon.’

His son had never been one to take leave frequently in the first place, but recently, those occasions had become increasingly rare.

It had been almost two years since he had last seen his son’s face.

During his time in the military, Cain had constantly burned himself out on the front lines, and Surd had always lost sleep worrying about his son.

‘Some people often ask me if I’m proud of him.’

Of course he was proud.

His son wasn’t a hero, a sage, or even an ordinary person, yet this once-in-a-generation talentless man was practically holding up the entire western front by himself.

It could easily be called an achievement even greater than Surd’s own.

‘It would be strange if I weren’t proud.’

But.

His fame grew higher with every passing day.

His returns became less frequent as time went on.

Having watched Cain’s life from up close for twenty years, Surd could imagine what his son must have been doing to accomplish such feats.

‘No doubt he’s been neglecting his own body and going completely insane over killing monsters.’

The last time Surd had seen him, Cain was already in a state of complete ruin.

His physical condition was terrible, but what was even more serious were his hollow eyes, empty of every trace of vitality, like those of an undead creature.

That was when Surd made a decision.

After Cain returned from his next leave, he would never send him back to the front lines again.

Sss.

‘The fragrance is wonderful.’

The sweet scent of flower nectar tickled his nose.

The pleasure of drinking tea while breathing in the fresh scent of grass.

The luxury of leisurely enjoying peace on a tranquil terrace.

‘He needs to learn about these little pleasures.’

If Cain returned this time, Surd would make him experience plenty of those ordinary joys.

With that thought in mind, Surd brought the teacup in his hand back toward his lips.

Then—

“Your Highness, please excuse me for a moment.”

A knight approached carrying a black letter and gently placed it before Surd.

“What is it?”

“A letter from the Knight Commander of the First Military Camp on the Western Front.”

“Robelm?”

“Could it be news about Cain?”

The princess’s eyes sparkled.

Surd tilted his head slightly before slowly opening the letter and checking its contents.

“Uh…”
“Hmm…”

As Surd read the letter, his expression rapidly darkened.

A drop of sweat rolled down his cheek.

“What could possibly be written in it to make you look like that?”

Surd let out a quiet “Hmm” before suddenly disappearing from before the princess.

Whoosh!

Surd’s figure vanished in an instant.

The startled princess looked around, but she couldn’t find him anywhere.

“Lord Surd?!”

The black letter fluttered down onto the spot where he had been sitting.

Surd ran toward his home while continuously muttering to himself.

“Cain of the First Military Camp has been reported missing…”

He continued running as he repeated the words written in the letter in his mind.

“The probability of his death is…”
“Extremely high?”

Boom!

Surd staggered from the overwhelming sense of loss, as though his heart had been pierced.

“No.”
“That can’t be.”
“It can’t!”

His son had returned alive from every battlefield.

There was no way he could have lost his life during an operation where he had merely been assigned to support the Hero Party.

He wanted to believe that.

“They saw it wrong.”
“They must have seen it wrong.”
“Wrong…!”

When Surd arrived in front of his house, he stopped in his tracks.

Three men wearing military uniforms stood before the wooden entrance, adjusting their clothes.

“Ah…”
“Ahhhh…!”

Thud!

Surd’s knees hit the ground.

He murmured his son’s name wistfully before losing consciousness where he stood.

“Cain…”

“You really had a difficult childhood.”

“That’s something you can say?”
“You had it worse than I did.”

It had been two weeks since Cain came to Roflerum.

During the two weeks they had been trapped inside the desolate temple where there was nothing, they had come to share quite a lot with each other.

Their respective pasts.

The goals they had pursued throughout their lives.

The destinations they had reached at the end of their respective trials.

Perhaps because there was nothing else to do.

All they could do was talk, and through those conversations, they naturally began sharing the experiences they had each endured.

“The gods really are pieces of trash.”
“Killing their own mother because they wanted to sit on the throne.”

Cain clicked his tongue and frowned.

Gaia, the Primordial Goddess said to have created the world.

The Mother of All Things.

The Cradle of the Earth.

The Mother Goddess from whom all gods originated, and the being who stood above all gods.

The queen who ruled at the pinnacle of the gods, a primordial goddess possessing the dignity befitting the throne of the Absolute God.

And yet, she was brutally murdered by the gods she herself had created.

‘According to Lilac, though, she practically let herself be killed, didn’t she?’

Perhaps it was because their arrogance had reached its ultimate limit.

Or perhaps they wanted to lay the foundation for moving into a new generation.

The gods, each with different ambitions, turned their blades against one another in order to claim the glory of sitting upon the throne that had been left without its master.

An apocalyptic event in which more than half of the gods were killed.

The event that led to the boundary between the Divine Realm and the mortal world being divided.

That was the War of the Gods.

The Godslaying incident that had taken place two thousand years ago.

“What the hell?”
“So you didn’t kill half the gods by yourself after all.”

A flicker of light appeared in Lilac’s eyes.

“No.”
“I was the one who killed half of them.”

“What?”

“I am a little different from those fools.”

“Hmm…”
“Really?”

The moment Lilac uttered the word “different,” a deep darkness fell across her face.

“Anyway, please don’t eat so much.”
“It’s only been ten days, and we’re already about to run out of food.”

Cain casually changed the subject.

Lilac didn’t know it, but she felt deeply grateful that he had interrupted the flow of their conversation.

Remembering a past you wanted to forget.

Digging into it was no different from an invisible blade wielded carelessly.

The pain from those days rises back to the surface of your skin, while the suffering from those days gnaws away at your heart.

If there are past experiences you want to share, then there are surely also personal memories you would rather swallow down and keep buried within yourself.

‘You don’t have to tell me.’

Cain recalled his childhood.

He had been the primary target of all kinds of teasing, both major and minor, from children who knew nothing of the world.

Whenever the scars of torture etched into his skin became the subject of casual gossip, he had felt a deep sense of despair.

Part of him understood.

Those words were nothing more than distorted curiosity spoken lightly without malicious intent.

But that lightheartedness only carved his heart apart even more deeply.

It wasn’t a memory he wanted to recall.

It wasn’t something to be spoken about so casually.

—Why do you have to make me remember it?

—Why do you have to talk about it?

Even consideration born from good intentions.

Even the sincere desire to save him by tending to his wounds.

To Cain, those things were nothing more than horrific torture.

That was why he deliberately didn’t ask.

Because he didn’t want to see someone who looked like himself.

Because he didn’t want to see her hurt herself.

“…I’m sorry.”

After a long silence, Lilac finally spoke.

Cain gave a small smile and gently stroked her head.

“It’s enough that you understand.”

“…Yeah.”

Lilac’s face looked somewhat exhausted.

Seeing that expression, Cain picked up an apple.

“Hey.”

“Hm?”
“Why are you calling me… Mmph?!”

Shove!

Cain pushed an apple into Lilac’s mouth.

As the fruit forced its way into her small mouth, Lilac was visibly startled.

“Mmph?!”
“Mmmph!”
“Why… why are you doing th… Mmph!”

“Don’t make such an uncharacteristic expression just because you’re a brat.”
“Why do you look like the entire world has collapsed?”

“Puha!”
“What?!”
“Brat?!”
“Do you have any idea how long I’ve lived?”
“I’ve lived thousands of years longer than you…!”

Smack!

Cain’s middle finger struck Lilac’s forehead.

“Haau…!”

Cain gently rubbed her forehead as he spoke.

“If your mental age is that of a brat, then you’re a brat.”
“Smile.”
“Being able to smile without worrying about anything is a privilege of brats.”
“So smile, you little brat.”

“I’m not a brat!”
“I’m a goddess who has lived for thousands of years…!”

Swoosh.

“Hm!”
“Now that I think about it, I suppose I am a brat after all!”

At the sight of the finger raised once again, a bright smile appeared on her face.

“Hm, good.”
“Well done.”

Lilac probably didn’t know what Cain was thinking right now.

Clank!

The pure-white chains that drained Lilac’s power.

Looking at them, Cain thought.

‘If this place is a prison, then there must be a jailer watching over it.’

The jailer would surely possess the key to unlocking those chains.

Cain glanced toward the direction of the apple boxes.

‘Well, I think I’ve already found him.’

If the jailer possessed enough power to watch over Lilac, there was a very high chance that the jailer was also a god.

‘But…’

The dozens of iron chains before his eyes.

These were clearly not restraints maintained through the continuous use of magic, but bindings created by magic stones using a catalyst as their medium.

In other words, if he could just destroy those magic stones…

‘He could free her from Roflerum.’

Cain slowly turned his head and glanced at Lilac.

“…..”

They had only lived together for two weeks.

That was nowhere near enough time for a bond to form.

All they had done during that time was ramble on about their respective pasts.

That was why Cain asked.

“Lilac.”

He wanted to know what she truly meant to him.

“I want to ask you just one thing.”

“Hm?”
“What is it?”

Depending on the answer to the question he was about to ask, Lilac’s value within Cain would be decided.

Light, or darkness.

‘Hope?’
‘Or despair?’

In truth, he didn’t really want to ask.

From an objective point of view, the pure-white goddess standing before him was someone he had come to like quite a lot.

‘Maybe it would be better to keep living like this without knowing anything.’

But—

‘I want to know.’
‘What exactly is this feeling?’

He wasn’t a brat.

He wasn’t a weakling who wanted to settle for a comfortable lie because he was afraid of confirming the truth.

He wasn’t a man who would be dazzled by a brief moment of light and misjudge the scales of value.

That was why he asked.

“Am I… dirty?”

He wanted to know what kind of existence he was to Lilac.

“…..”

Lilac silently stared into Cain’s eyes.

She knew what his words meant.

He was asking about the price of his sins.

“Hehe…”

Lilac smiled.

She was impressed by the audacity of the human standing before her.

“You’re truly arrogant.”

A god was an existence that rightfully deserved to be worshiped.

The mere existence of a god could become the flame of prosperity, and the worship of all creation for the sake of a single god could reach the very ends of the heavens.

That was why she couldn’t help but smile.

“Are you seriously going to judge a god despite being nothing more than a human?”

“…..”

She was genuinely delighted by the fact that such an audacious human existed, one who dared to speak of fairness even to a god.

Cain and Lilac stared into each other’s eyes for a long time.

Lies would not work.

Even avoiding the answer would not be permitted.

The only thing that could exist here was the truth, and their value to one another would be determined by that truth.

Lilac quietly spoke in a solemn voice.

“Yes.”
“You are dirty.”
“The sin bound to your flesh is truly heavy.”

“…Right?”
“I knew it too.”

The vitality gradually disappeared from Cain’s eyes.

His dark, clouded eyes stared at Lilac like the eyes of someone looking at a mere stone.

The decision had been made.

What she was to him.

And what action he would take from this point forward.

But then—

“But you are cleaner than we are.”
“How could the sins we bear as members of the gods possibly be lighter than the price of your sins?”

Lilac smiled at Cain.

There was a compassion that seemed capable of embracing everything.

Faced with the gaze of a goddess who saw his worth perfectly, Cain froze.

“You said that gods can absolve you of your sins, didn’t you?”
“Then I shall tell you.”

“I forgive you.”
“So stop refusing to forgive yourself…”

Cain could only stare blankly without saying a word.

Seeing Cain like that, Lilac grinned.

“What?”
“Can’t you accept forgiveness from an evil goddess?”
“If you want to refuse, now is your only chance.”

“…Pfft.”

Cain’s shoulders began to tremble.

“Ha…”
“HAHAHAHAHA!”
“Ahahahaha!”
“This is so ridiculous.”
“How can you say something like that when you don’t know anything?”

He thought it was nonsense.

He dismissed it as the meddling of a self-centered goddess.

Before Cain’s eyes, a rope had descended.

A rope made from the illusion created by a goddess’s meddling and meaningless nonsense.

He didn’t know whether that rope would truly save him.

It might even turn out to be a desperate gamble taken simply to satisfy his thirst for a moment.

But—

“There’s no need to refuse.”
“I’ll gladly accept that forgiveness.”

Even so, he wanted to grab hold of it.

The goddess standing before him was no longer the evil goddess who appeared in the old stories.

Cain reached out toward her hand.

“I look forward to getting along with you from now on, Lilac.”

“Hm!”
“I look forward to it too, Cain.”

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