Chapter 41: You had a friend besides me?

“You have to ask to know…?”

I grumbled at Song Hwa’s response.

I mustered the courage to ask despite my embarrassment, and that’s her reaction?

“Oh, no! Sorry, it was just so sudden.”

Seeing my reaction, Song Hwa gave an awkward smile and hurriedly waved her hands to defuse the situation.

She glanced around, then gestured toward a quieter spot.

“You seem troubled. Wanna talk for a bit?”

“…”

After a moment’s thought, I nodded.

Yeah… instead of tearing my hair out alone, talking to someone might help.

Plus, with Song Hwa… honestly, after all the embarrassing moments she’s witnessed with Baek Yeon, I had no more shame to lose.

Anyway.

We leaned against a wall and continued our conversation.

“You remember what the Young Lady asked for as her birthday gift, right?”

“Yeah.”

Song Hwa nodded.

The sudden request to say “I love you” with sincerity.

Since Song Hwa was there, she obviously heard it.

“Because of that… I’ve been thinking about what I feel for her, but no matter how much I think, I can’t figure it out.”

“Hm…”

Song Hwa let out a soft hum and gave an awkward smile.

She clearly didn’t fully understand.

Fair enough—I don’t even understand my own feelings.

“So, if it’s about whether I like or dislike her, of course I like her…”

I started explaining in more detail.

I definitely care for Baek Yeon.

If you asked whether my heart flutters when we kiss or our tongues intertwine, I couldn’t deny it.

But… whether that’s the love Baek Yeon wants? I couldn’t give a clear answer.

‘…Honestly, I feel a bit guilty too.’

I’ve known her since she was a child. Just because we’ve kissed a few times, am I supposed to suddenly love her?

‘That’s not something a decent person would do.’

She’s like a little sister to me.

…That’s why I grew attached to her in the first place.

Whenever I saw Baek Yeon, she reminded me of my younger sister from my past life.

Of course, since Song Hwa doesn’t know I’m reincarnated, I worded it carefully.

Given my current physical age is younger than Baek Yeon’s, saying she feels like a little sister would just confuse her.

“Well… back then, you practically raised her.”

Having watched us closely, Song Hwa nodded, thankfully understanding my feelings.

Anyway.

“So, I’m not sure if I love her.”

“Hm…”

My explanation finished.

Song Hwa let out a long hum, deep in thought.

“…Hehe.”

“?”

But then—

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you worry about something so age-appropriate.”

She burst out laughing and started ruffling my hair.

Caught off guard by her touch, I shot her an indignant look.

‘Hey, I’m being serious here!’

This isn’t funny—why’s she giggling?

“…Sister Song Hwa.”

I glared at her, conveying my irritation.

“Haha, sorry, I couldn’t help it.”

“…”

“But I get what you’re worried about.”

Seeing my cold expression, she quickly changed the subject to defuse the tension.

…Fine, let’s hear what she has to say.

“So, you’re basically confused about what love is, right?”

“…Yeah.”

Determined to sulk if she said something weird, I listened closely.

“But… love doesn’t have to be just the kind the Young Lady means, does it?”

She shrugged.

“There’s love between family, love between friends… The care you have for her is a huge emotion, just as valid as her kind of love.”

“Oh…”

“In other words, it’s a different kind of love.”

That… makes sense.

I nodded in agreement.

‘…Right.’

I’d been thinking of love too narrowly.

Thanks to Song Hwa, I saw a way forward.

If I honestly explained my feelings to Baek Yeon and said “I love you,” she surely wouldn’t have anything more to say…!

“But.”

“?”

Just as I was reaching a conclusion, Song Hwa interrupted.

“You do love her in the same way she does.”

She smirked mischievously.

“…Me?”

“Well, you’ll realize it someday.”

She murmured warmly, as if seeing something wholesome.

“Ah, youth is wonderful.”

This is ridiculous…

‘My past life’s age plus this one makes me older than you!’

She’s not even thirty, and she’s acting like this…

I was dumbfounded, but I couldn’t exactly say that out loud.

More than her teasing, her earlier words stuck with me.

‘So, even Song Hwa, who’s seen us up close, thinks I love Baek Yeon…?’

Why is everyone so sure of feelings I can’t even pinpoint?

It’s hard, so hard…

“Hoo.”

I sighed without meaning to.

Baek Yeon’s single request to say “I love you” had turned my head into a mess.

Dash!

Then—

“Sister Song Hwa!”

A Baek Clan warrior hurriedly approached, scanning the area.

…What’s going on?

Song Hwa, sensing trouble, furrowed her brow and asked.

“What is it?”

“Well… some of the guests from the Zhuge Clan sent word they’ll arrive at the Baek Clan earlier than planned.”

The warrior’s face looked a bit troubled.

‘Hm, wasn’t the clan gathering next week?’

If they’re sending word now, they’ll likely arrive in a day or two… That’s early.

But—

Why report this to Song Hwa?

The moment I thought that—

Song Hwa, initially puzzled, seemed to realize something and widened her eyes.

“Oh, the Zhuge Clan… Could it be the Young Lady’s friend arriving early?”

…What?

Wait, what did she say?

As I froze at her words, their conversation continued.

“Yes, it’s Lady Zhuge Bin’s party.”

“Hm, when are they expected to arrive?”

“Well…”

Clatter, thud.

A sudden commotion interrupted the warrior’s words.

Both turned toward the sound at the same time.

It was coming from the main gate.

“They… seem to have arrived now.”

“Hm…”

Song Hwa let out a troubled hum, but only briefly.

“Alright, I’ll inform the Young Lady. You go help receive the guests.”

“Yes, Sister Song Hwa!”

True to Baek Clan efficiency, they quickly sprang into action.

“…”

But even after they left, I stood rooted to the spot.

‘…Baek Yeon has a friend besides me?’

For some reason… it felt like a betrayal.

I thought I was all she had.

‘…No, no way.’

I quickly shook my head, dismissing the thought.

What a pointless idea…

‘She hasn’t contacted or seen this friend in the years I’ve been with her, right?’

Probably just an old acquaintance she knew briefly.

Yeah, that must be it.

So… I didn’t need to think about it.

Right, right.

—

…But.

Things started moving in a direction I hadn’t expected.

“Bin’s here?”

First, that overly familiar nickname, “Bin,” grated on my nerves…

Upon Song Hwa’s report, Baek Yeon’s face lit up with surprise, and she sprang out of bed.

This was the same Baek Yeon who lately used fatigue as an excuse to stay in bed even when I urged her to get up.

And the second shocking thing—

Moving with uncharacteristic speed, she headed straight for the main gate…

‘…That’s her?’

There stood a girl, far more refined and elegant than I’d imagined.

I’d never seen her before, but I knew instantly.

She was Baek Yeon’s acquaintance… the young lady from the Zhuge Clan.

And… the most unsettling part—

“Bin.”

“Oh, Yeon-unnie!”

Spotting Baek Yeon, the Zhuge Clan girl called out with an annoyingly familiar nickname and rushed toward her.

“It’s been so long, unnie!”

And they hugged.

Baek Yeon accepted her embrace.

“How have you been?”

She even smiled faintly.

“…”

Standing just behind Baek Yeon, I watched them silently.

As guests from the Zhuge Clan, I tried to put on a professional smile, but…

‘…What is this feeling?’

My face wouldn’t cooperate.

Why did I feel… so uncomfortable?

It was like something was stuck in my chest.