Chapter 6: Motivation (6)

Part 11

“It’s kinda fascinating, this streaming thing.”

“…What’s with the sentimental vibe?”

12:30 a.m.
Unless I was swamped with assignments, I usually tried to sleep early, so staying up this late during break was rare.
Even excluding the time I was unconscious, my routine had been consistent: sleep around 11 p.m., wake up around 6 a.m. to feed Junseok breakfast and wait for our parents.
I was used to that pattern, but now drowsiness was creeping in.

“I mean… everyone’s surprisingly nice.”

Even now, it felt that way.
My slurred speech from being tired only seemed to spark more friendly chats, praising it.
For someone like me, who’d lived an unremarkable life without ever tasting popularity, this felt beyond joyful—it was almost mystical.

“Is my voice really that nice?”

– Yesssssssss

– Ugh… Sis, your sleepy voice is melting my ears…

“I don’t think I’ve ever been told my voice is nice…”

A grin slipped out.
Surrounded by people who seemed to adore everything I did, it felt like I was dreaming.
As the hour grew late, the viewer count dropped noticeably, and the once-frantic chat slowed, making it easier to read.
It was a strange intimacy, different from the chaotic buzz earlier.

“If you’re sleepy, go to bed.”

“Just a bit longer.”

“I usually yell during late-night gaming, but I’m holding back for you. What if the viewers get bored and hate it?”

– Shut up and do what Sis wants.

“Thanks for the 10,000-won donation, NuclearTuna nim… Wait, what?”

The donation voice, slow and awkward at first, now just sounded funny.
Stifling a laugh, I noticed more donations pouring in.
It felt like once the momentum started, it snowballed.
Coming from someone who barely made minimum wage at part-time jobs, it was like these people lived in a different world.
But Sanghyeon’s explanation—“It’s just spending money on a hobby”—made sense now.
It seemed like different people donated each time.

– If Sis saved your stream, just say thank you, lol.

– From today, Sis owns this stream.

– Stop hating on Cheungjeokun.

– Don’t you know half of us are here for her voice? Lol.

“One Month Sound nim, Since When nim, Top Is Not Butcher nim, AILLLAI… What even is this nickname?
The donation message and the name—nothing about this guy is likable!”

I poked Sanghyeon’s side, smirking at his grumbling.
His exaggerated “Eek!” reaction was so ridiculous that I couldn’t stop smiling.

“What’s that attitude toward donors? Just say thank you.”

“How long are they gonna milk that?”

– That’s the right streamer attitude, lol.

– Wake up, Cheungjeokun!

– Sis is so kind, why’s your brother such a mess?

“I’m not that kind…”

As Sanghyeon started to yell back at being called a mess, I poked his side again to shut him up.
It felt like I’d gone a bit too far, but seeing him cough and breathe fine, it probably wasn’t a big deal.

“When you’re around a rough, wild guy like him all the time, anyone normal seems overly kind by contrast.”

– People who say they’re kind are usually fake.

– Credibility +1.

– A kind voice, great figure, nice personality, and a beautiful face? What did Cheungjeokun save in his past life?

“My face isn’t that pretty.”

My offhand comment made Sanghyeon’s face freeze in shock.
A flood of question marks filled the chat.

– Cheungjeokun said his sister’s crazy pretty.

– A natural beauty! Is she a genius of charm?

– If she denies it, maybe he exaggerated.

– With that voice, figure, and skin, how could she not be pretty? Lol.

“Ah…”

I got the picture.
I didn’t know the details, but Sanghyeon must’ve hyped me up on stream, saying something like, “My sister’s insanely pretty.”
Why would he, when he’s so adamant about keeping my face off the stream?
Hmm… I don’t know the reason.

“Sis, saying that when you know how you look puts me in a weird spot.”

“Oh, really? Selling my face as pretty without telling me?”

“Okay, that was my bad, but—”

“Anyway, I’ll admit my skin’s nice, but my figure and face are average. My limbs are too skinny, and I’ve got no chest.”

As a former guy, that was my objective assessment of my current self.
I preferred a fuller figure and a sharper face, but my self-evaluation was a solid “meh.”

“Yawn… Haa.”

Half-closed eyes followed the “reveal the truth” chats as my body screamed it was at its limit.
If I stayed, I’d fall asleep without showering.

“What truth? She’s totally playing coy! She definitely looks in the mirror and—Ow?!”

“What are you saying with me right here?”

“Come on! Even without family bias, you’re photoshoot-ready. Admit it?”

“Admit nothing. You’ll wake Mom and Dad, so quiet down.”

“Stop poking my side!”

– Lolololol

– He’s so whipped, lol.

– Sis, teach this ungrateful streamer some proper morals!

I ruffled Sanghyeon’s hair as he pouted, slowly standing from the chair.
Another yawn told me it was time to sleep.

“I meant to watch for a bit, but I stayed too long. I’m sleepy, so I’ll head out.”

– Nooo, don’t go, Sis!!!!!

– Say “good night” just once, please!

“Huh…? Uh… Thanks for the 10,000 won, SamchiTongjorim nim. Thanks and good night, MeomMoomMi nim…?”

What’s with these people?
Were they really staying up just for me?
I reflexively responded to the sudden donations calling my name.
Saying “good night” with my sleepy voice sparked another wave of “I’m dying” comments, and I got a bad feeling.
I’d only been here a few hours, but I’d seen how this vibe escalated.

– Say “good night” to me too!!!!

– Please say “good night” casually, just once, Sis!

– Do a finger heart and say “good night”!

“Uh…?”

10,000 won. Another 10,000. 50,000?

“Uh… PangMeo nim, good night. SimBongSa02 nim, good night. ChamchiKimchiBokkeumbap nim… ugh, finger hearts are too embarrassing, so no. Good night.”

“Sis, this is her first real time on a stream, and you guys are piling it on. She’s too slow to keep up with all this.”

I shot a glare at Sanghyeon’s teasing tone, pausing my exit to stare at the screen.
Ugh, two donations slipped by already.
The fonts and positions were different—does he stream on multiple platforms?

“Sanghyeon, can’t you see a list of donors or something?”

“I’m too rough and wild to know about that, Sis.”

“Come on, they’re paying to have me say something.”

I didn’t know the exact amount, but the donation parade went on for a while.
For about five minutes before heading to shower, I just kept saying “good night” over and over, feeling like I was doing something weird and getting embarrassed.
These were total strangers, after all.

“…What’s so great about it?”

Under the warm shower, I ran my hand through the hair sticking to my shoulders.
Long hair was my style, but it was heavy when wet and got in the way when dressing.

“Sis, I’m dying…”

The water stopped, and my body cooled quickly, but the mix of amusement and embarrassment kept me from showering quietly.

“…Hmm.”

I stood before the full-length mirror.
A naked young woman, dripping water, stared back.
My skin, flushed pink from the hot water, stood out against its usual paleness.
Honey-colored hair hung like a wet rat’s tail.
Not ugly, but my body lacked volume.
My cheeks were flushed, and my golden eyes blinked slowly.

“Still don’t get it.”

I raised two fingers, pushing up the corners of my mouth.
I’d been smiling naturally earlier, but trying to recreate it felt impossible.
Awkwardness.
They could barely see a fraction of me, so what was so great about it?

“Too many guys starved for women?”

Probably not.
I don’t know.
I couldn’t recall how much the donations totaled.
It wouldn’t always be like this—curiosity about a new face just opened their wallets.
But even half of today’s haul would beat most part-time jobs, right?

I knew what they wanted.
Cute stuff, pretty stuff, maybe some playful charm.
But I’m a bit too flawed for that.

“…Time to sleep.”

I stepped back under the shower’s stream.
It was late.
Tomorrow morning, I’d just toast some bread and slap on some strawberry jam.