Chapter 8: Unreasonable(2)

I couldn’t help but want to keep looking at Kyunghee.
She was that cute.
But if I kept staring, she’d notice her ears perking up and pull them down.
No, she’d probably panic and apologize for doing something wrong.
She’d likely assume that feeling good would upset someone else.
In the end, there was only one choice.
Quietly pretend not to notice and eat my pasta.

“T-tastes good…!”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, it’s nicely spicy, so it’s delicious. I couldn’t eat spicy food before.”
“Couldn’t eat it?”
“Well… my body was really weak, so my stomach couldn’t handle spicy stuff.”
“I see.”

As she spoke, Kyunghee hesitantly glanced at me.
She seemed worried she’d upset me.
I’m not the kind of person who gets mad over someone not liking food.
So I smiled brightly and ate my pasta, and only then did she relax and keep eating.
Her claim that it was delicious wasn’t a lie—her portion was disappearing fast.
Then I felt her gaze and looked at her. She’d finished her pasta and was eyeing me.
She clearly wanted more but couldn’t bring herself to ask.

Of course, I’d anticipated this and made extra, so I silently used tongs to add more noodles from the pan to her bowl.
While I was at it, I added some to mine too.
Kyunghee smiled at her refilled bowl.
I was ready to give her more if she seemed hungry, but it didn’t look necessary.

“Were you hungry?”
“I-I’m fine…”
“Sorry, but your face totally gives away that you want to eat more.”
“S-sorry…”
“It’s okay. You can eat.”
“Then, I’ll eat well.”

Honestly, Kyunghee eating was adorable.
I don’t know if it’s okay to compare a person to an animal, but she was like a rodent stuffing its cheeks.
She’d glance around nervously, chew slowly, and swallow.
Then she’d sneak another anxious look around, repeating the cycle.
And her ears perking up while eating, her hair getting fluffy…
I knew these habits came from abuse, but she was so cute I wanted to pat her.
She didn’t seem to notice my gaze, scraping up every bit of pasta sauce and saying cautiously,

“T-thank you for the meal…”
“You cleaned your plate.”
“I was hungry… It was delicious.”
“Thought so.”

While I put the dishes and pan in the sink and filled it with water, Kyunghee hesitantly tried to clear the table.
When I’d told her to wipe it down once, she froze like she was being scolded, but she managed it fine after that.
I wanted to praise her, but it might backfire now, so I roughly finished the dishes and sat in front of her.
I just wanted to talk, but she seemed to think something else.

“………………”

She cautiously rolled her eyes.
Her ears, which had perked up while eating, were slowly drooping.
I sighed a little, wondering if I should lay out some rules for living here.
Something like, “If you don’t break the rules, I won’t care what you do.”
But that felt like lecturing a child, so I hesitated.
Still, it seemed better to say something, so I held both her hands, looked into her eyes, and spoke.
It was to show I had no intention of hitting her and to get her to focus on me.

“If you don’t break the rules, I won’t hit you.”
“…Huh?”
“And if there’s a reason to hit you, I’ll tell you first. I promise.”
“R-really…?”
“I’m not going to hit you. But if you break the rules, I’ll do what I want.”

Kyunghee nodded desperately.
She was probably imagining the worst kind of beating, but I had no intention of hitting her.
Saying I’d do what I want if she broke the rules could mean something as simple as a flick on the forehead.
I worried she might act recklessly knowing that, but it was a needless concern.
Her reaction showed she’d follow any rule I set to the letter.

“First rule.”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t freak out or put yourself down assuming I’ll hit you. It’s uncomfortable to see.”
“Okay…”
“And, hmm, let’s set a second rule too.”

As she nodded fervently, promising not to break them, I closed my eyes and thought.
What Kyunghee needed now was normal experiences.
Not getting hit for failing to serve drinks properly.
She needed to internalize a normal life.
Eat later if she’s not hungry now.
Sleep in until she’s rested if she’s tired.
She needed to understand that in a normal household, you don’t get hit for those things.

That’s why I set the first rule.
No freaking out or self-deprecation.
I didn’t know how it’d go, but if it became less noticeable, her habits might improve or weaken.
So, I needed a second rule to help her experience a normal life.

For the second rule…

“The second rule is to help with my independent life.”
“Independent life…?”
“Things like housework, errands, learning to cook or clean.”
“That sounds… simple. But can I do it well…?”
“No one’s good from the start, but you’ll improve with practice.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, even for when you get married later. So even if I can’t take care of you forever, it’ll be useful.”
“M-married…?”

Her eyes dimmed as she turned her head slightly.
I didn’t know what she was thinking, but it felt like I needed to lift her spirits.
Or maybe change the subject.
I just didn’t want her to blame herself again.
A third rule? No, that could wait.
Then I noticed her ears slowly perking up.

“And, can I pat you?”
“…What? I mean, I don’t mind.”
“Last time, you were so tense I couldn’t pat you properly.”
“Okay…”

It might seem out of nowhere, but this was important too.
It was a bit odd to show a grown adult that affectionate touch exists, but still.
I slowly hugged her from behind and placed my hand on her slightly fluffy hair.
The moment I did, she let out a small noise, as if it felt strange.

“Uuu…”

How should I put it?
It felt different from patting her when her ears were down—better.
If patting normal hair and ears felt one way, this was the opposite.
It was like holding a cloud, with her upright ears asserting their presence.
I’d just wanted to pat her to change the mood, but the texture was so nice.
I meant to do it briefly, but this felt good enough to keep going all day.

“Your hair feels really nice.”
“R-really?”
“Yeah. Anyone would want to pat it at least once.”
“………………”
“What?”
“I… told you I was kicked out, right?”
“Yeah.”

Kyunghee turned in my arms to face me.
She looked like she wanted to say something but was too scared.
When she tried to turn back to make it easier to pat her, I quickly hugged her tightly and smiled.

“You can say it, Kyunghee.”
“I… I wasn’t kicked out.”
“Then?”
“I escaped.”
“…What?”
“Um, I’m nervous, so… can I listen to your heartbeat…?”
“No problem.”

She pressed her ear to my chest and spoke.

“So, raising me cost money, right? Little by little…”
“Yeah, that’s true.”
“They told me to pay back what it cost to raise me…”
“So, pay back the money spent on you?”
“Yeah… My body’s like this now, so… they said I’m not family, but they’d let me live there until I paid it back.”

I was beyond dumbfounded.
More than a little angry—I was furious.
But my emotions sank heavily.
Worried she’d get anxious, I forced a smile and waited for her to continue.

“But no one would think I could pay it back, so I got hit… and threatened…”
“…Sexual violence?”
“They said I was disgusting, so they didn’t do that, but they gave me two years to pay, or they’d sell me to a brothel.”
“………………”
“I really thought I’d die, so my little sister helped me escape. She patted my head then, saying she always wanted to.”
“That’s a relief.”
“So, whenever my head’s patted, it feels weird.”

I smiled at her anxious gaze.
All I could say was that it was a relief.
A whirlwind of emotions and thoughts swirled in my mind and then dissipated.

“If you hadn’t given me your address, I wouldn’t have found you.”
“S-sorry… I’m such a burden…”
“No, it’s fine. And I said you can stay anytime.”
“But…”

Her eyes darted around nervously.
Then, with trembling lips, she forced a smile and said,

“My rabbit ears… don’t they make me look like a monster…?”
“No way.”
“Even though I’m a rock crashing into your life… it’s okay?”
“It’s okay.”
“I’m clueless, can’t do anything…”
“Still okay.”
“All I have to offer is this worthless body… but I can stay?”
“Yeah.”
“C-can I… stay like this, hugging you…? Your warmth, your heartbeat, it feels good.”
“Do whatever you want.”

She nodded slowly, then buried her face in my chest again.
Carefully pressing her ear to listen to my heartbeat, she looked…

Like she’d die without affection.
Truly like a rabbit.