Chapter 2: Full payment installment…! I helped you.
The Earth nearly met its end.
The reason was simple.
[Hello, Earth Channel viewers. This one messed up big time at gambling and blew the entire solar system!]
If it wasn’t for the hologram floating in the sky, visible from every corner of Earth, everyone would’ve thought it was a sick prank.
Who’d dare argue when a green-haired kid’s face filled the heavens?
[At this rate, everyone on Earth might end up sold off at a discount, like some cheap resource planet at a market stall, to pay off my debts. Chopped up, sold piece by piece, and turned into alien slaves… or so I was about to say~]
That crazy btch.
[But lucky me, your girl got herself a sponsor~]
– Come on, look at the camera and say your name and age.
[…I’m Gaia.]
– Good, Gaia-chan, how old are you?
[4… 4…]
– Don’t be nervous, smile!
[My age is 4.54 billion years… From now on, with my sponsor… we’re gonna make a total mess… of things…]
– That’s right, that’s right.
And so, the sponsor’s touch roamed across Earth… peeling back the crust, exposing the mantle, with molten lava erupting… a sudden disaster—
Aaaagh!
…No such thing happened.
[Tada~ From now on, we’re turning Earth into a divine tourism hotspot!]
Instead, all sorts of gods started flocking to Earth.
[Wow! Earth, you know it! So many ancient myths, it’s fcking wild!]
Daily life didn’t change much.
In the shtty Hell Peninsula, the 9-to-6 grind went on. Shtty small companies still delayed wages. Convenience stores paid below minimum wage, so part-timers ended up reporting them to the labor board, getting their owed holiday pay recalculated and claimed—same old, same old.
…And into this mundane life, gods jumped in.
Gods, taking human form, descended upon Earth.
At first, religious groups and nations protested fiercely, but that didn’t last long. A playful gesture from high-ranking gods split the sea in one strike, silencing everyone.
Nukes? Who cares?
Moses mumbled prayers to his God and barely parted the Red Sea. These god bastards? They split the Pacific Ocean in half with one terrifying swipe!
The Monkey Wrench of Nazareth couldn’t even compete.
The gods wandered Earth, soaking up new cultures for a while, but soon enough, they stepped into the internet world too…
[Born less than 10 billion years ago, goddess tiddy class, holy sht .Webp]
– You fcking pedo! You call yourself a god?!
– Pantheon OPEN UP! (☑)
– Impersonating the Pantheon Admin?
– Dumbass, look at the verified mark, it’s legit lol.
– Pantheon Admin! This guy, this guy! I didn’t see anything!
– Fcking hell, if you’re gonna post, bring a gif, I said.
– Hurt my feelings… Next time, screen for under 8 billion years, okay?
– Honestly, it’s doable… That expression’s fcking lewd. Total btch vibes, twin braids like galaxy handles, wanna ride the Milky Way and shove my meteor into her core… make her embrace only my asteroid…
– Dude.
Gahhh!
It didn’t take long for gods obsessed with fun to get hooked on the internet.
But some weren’t satisfied with just that…
[Pantheon Admin officially opens the Earth Arena!]
– Fck yeah, finally!
– My apostle, who’s been holding out, finally gets to shine…?
– Nah, your apostle’s a trash-tier R-rank~ Loses to a single goblin~
– A single goblin (from the Dimensional Credit Bank’s Forced Debt Collection Dept.)
– Dimensional Credit Bank goblins are fcking insane, they beat up war gods!
– ???: Gobble gobble, goblin slash… (slicing a quasar in one hit.)
They started picking humans as their so-called apostles, making them compete.
Fights are always more fun when they’re scrappy.
At first, people feared losing meant death, but that wasn’t the case.
Only the divine power of the gods backing the losing side took a hit. The apostles came back fine.
No death for losing, and you get to be a white-knight hero, blasting Heavenly Demon Death Beams in the gods’ battlefield?
The gods granted their apostles abilities based on their divine power, letting them compete. This culture spread beyond gods to the masses.
It started with cheering for individual apostles, then clans, and eventually escalated to nation-wide team battles.
But there were too many gods, and the arena had limited slots.
…That’s where the trouble began.
They capped the number of gods who could enter the arena and distributed initial seed points based on sponsored divine power.
1,000 participants.
The gods’ arena operated on a 100-point system.
Consecutive losses dropping you to 0 points meant losing arena access, with the spot passing to the next god in line.
As countless gods descended on Earth, reveling in their games… the goddess Dike faced her first-ever debt crisis.
“Ugh… Uwaaa…”
The cause? Her previous contractor.
She poured all her divine power into supporting him, only for him to suck her dry and jump ship to another god.
Her fault for making a sloppy apostle contract.
That fcking jerk.
She’d even taken out a full divine power loan from the Dimensional Credit Bank, Earth’s equivalent of a bank, to win in the arena…
How did I end up like this?! Barely qualifying as a low-tier deity! Finally, finally securing a participant slot!
She had just 2 points left.
You only lose access at 0 points, but the divine power loan she took was secured against those points.
As long as she had even 1 point, she could transfer her slot to someone else.
But if she lost once more, dropping to 1 point, her participant slot would go straight to the Dimensional Credit Bank per the loan contract.
Big gods or their factions managed multiple apostles, but for a small-time goddess like Dike, even maintaining one was tough. That betrayal headhunt was a devastating blow.
Those with participant slots were obligated to compete, with up to two postponements allowed. After that, participation was mandatory, or the slot was forfeited. Dike had no options.
She could hastily pick some random apostle, fight in the arena, lose 1 point, and hand her slot to the Dimensional Credit Bank.
Or face disqualification for not showing up…
Forfeiture was the worst outcome.
If that happened, the Dimensional Credit Bank wouldn’t get the collateral, and Dike would need to repay the divine power debt. Selling everything, down to her last pair of panties, wouldn’t cover it.
The Dimensional Credit Bank was generous when lending but ruthless when collecting.
They might even sell her off to some cosmic brothel in the depths of the universe.
[Virgin Goddess Dike Astraea, up for grabs! Certified by Unicorn & Bicon, Virgin Appraisal Co.!]
That future must never come…!
Shuddering, Dike gripped the steering wheel of a truck.
She’d heard a story from a fellow goddess.
“Hey, sometimes talented humans pop up. The really gifted ones on Earth get snatched by high-tier gods, but occasionally, humans caught in dimensional rifts return from other worlds.”
“Really? They exist?”
“Look at the next town over. A hero who slew a demon king, a returnee, got picked up off the street and now broke 420 points!”
“4-420 points?!”
What kind of win rate was that?
By points alone, that hero had already knocked out two deities.
“Even with a holy sword boost, that’s impressive…”
She couldn’t ignore her fellow goddess’s words.
When your cousin buys land, you get jealous. When a neighboring deity snags a returnee, you want one too…!
“Speaking of which, tada! Here’s a 25-ton Isekai Reincarnation Truck for just 250 million ether!”
“A truck…?”
“Hmm… I didn’t want to sell it, but I recently recruited an SR-rank returnee with top-tier potential…”
“S-SR?!”
“And top-tier at that…”
The contractor Dike lost to headhunting was SR-rank but mid-to-low tier. A top-tier SR? That could rake in over 200 points.
“After recruiting that guy, this truck’s just collecting dust. I’m swamped raising my current crew; no time to scout more.”
“H-How did you recruit such talent…!”
“Look here.”
The front of the truck her colleague pointed to still had vivid bloodstains.
“Any returnee hit by this 25-ton Isekai Reincarnation Truck—bam! Instant contract with the driver! It doesn’t kill them, just shocks their soul.”
The bloodstains screamed reliability.
“But my current ether divine power…”
Even calculating her outgoing expenses, where would she get 250 million ether?
“Hey, what are friends for? Pay it off slowly, real slow… 60-month installment, interest at the Credit Bank’s standard rate…”
Her colleague, tapping a calculator, whispered devilishly in Dike’s ear.
“250 million ether, just 4.7 million ether a month to take this baby home…? Think about it. Get an SR-rank contractor, win a few matches, and you could pay it off quick. Plenty of buyers for points too.”
But as Dike hesitated, her colleague clicked her tongue and snapped her fingers.
“Fine, don’t buy it. I’ll stash it in subspace and use it later.”
The Isekai Truck began to fade like a mirage…
“No, wait!”
Dike, panicking, lunged forward.
Her divine life was already screwed. What was there to lose?
Cut food costs! Cut communication costs! Cut fuel… wait, that’d increase, wouldn’t it?
Whatever! Live and sleep in the truck to save money!
“Contract! I’ll sign!”
“Welcome, valued customer! Let’s go over the installment plan, shall we?”
And so, Dike fell into the trap.
…
[XX-year-old, XX-age Isekai Reincarnation Truck, fully financed!!! Here’s a review from our customer Dike, residing on Earth. When she first inquired, she had almost no divine power and worried if financing was even possible ㅠㅠ. Other companies refused her due to her Credit Bank collateral record, but who are we? We help customers like her make purchases, so we promised to do our best!]
…
[Same-day approval for 250 million ether, plus an extra 10 million ether for breathing room!!!]