Chapter 5: little snowball
Clang, clang, clang!
Yes, finally got the last diamond!
[Challenge Mission Completed]
“I mined them all! Big thanks to our Riaz_DeepSea for the mission! Alright, guys, I’m wrapping up here. Riba~.”
– Riba.
– Riba, Mark was actually fun for once.
– So, tomorrow’s Killwatch again? I’ll swing by the day after.
“Hey, you say that, but you’re gonna backseat like crazy again.”
– That’s ‘cause you suck.
– Backseating’s a viewer privilege.
“Fine, fine. Sleep well, see you tomorrow!”
It was past midnight, nearly dawn, when the diamond mission ended.
I said goodnight to the Ria Guardians who stayed till the end and ended the stream.
I was exhausted, but there was still some dopamine left.
I avoided checking messages during the stream.
They could mess with my vibe, plus I wanted to keep the curiosity.
What if it’s a content offer?
The last message I got was a week ago, telling me I got rejected from a Mark server.
‘Here we go!’
I tried not to get my hopes up, but I couldn’t help it.
I opened the inbox with high expectations.
(Inbox)
Sender: [Forest_VirtualYudong1]
– I watched a bit, and it’s frustrating, so here’s some honest feedback. If you don’t have missions, you just play Killwatch solo queue, but you’re not even good at interacting during downtime. Who’s gonna watch your stream like that? If that’s your plan, go be a pro gamer. You need to make content, but you’re not doing song streams like other VTubers. Can’t you at least try to get into big content? Please, do some actual streaming instead of just gaming… (Read More)
“…Ugh, really.”
What arrived was a long-winded lecture on my streaming.
I couldn’t help but sigh.
I was genuinely excited for a new message, but my mood crashed.
Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.
‘…It’s not entirely wrong, though.’
I read through the long message carefully.
Some points actually hit home.
My mental state took a hit, but I pulled myself together.
First, about the feedback.
Malicious backseatters and haters do no good for streamers, but for a low-tier VTuber like me, every bit of attention matters.
They’re only criticizing because they care, right?
That’s how I chose to see it.
Not that I didn’t have counterarguments.
“Yudong-ssi, I can’t interact if you’re not there!”
If my interaction feels lacking, maybe it’s because they’re not around during those times.
Even when I try to engage viewers, whether on the cafe or the streaming platform, no posts go up.
I checked the member count of the fan cafe I set up recently.
[Ria Official Fan Cafe: 5 members]
Oof…
Just looking at it hurt.
It’s been almost a month since I made it, and only five members.
Sure, I haven’t promoted it properly, but still…
‘Maybe they’re right?’
Ahem.
Positive feedback helps streamers grow!
There were some unfair points, though.
I tried hard to get into big content but got rejected every time!
And if I did a song stream now, I’d get dug up and canceled again.
‘…I’ll work on what I can change.’
I went to the platform’s stream stats section.
The data since my debut as Ria appeared.
Total streaming hours: 480.
That’s how long I’ve streamed as VTuber Ria over the past two months.
I only took one day off when I was sick.
Looking at the data, I surprised myself.
‘…I worked harder than I thought?’
Shockingly, I streamed about eight hours a day.
Compared to my Ariel days, that’s nearly double the hours.
Plus, the pressure now is way higher.
I work eight-hour shifts at the convenience store daily.
‘Guess it works when you just do it.’
Does desperation really change you?
My results were lackluster, but I was holding on as a low-tier VTuber.
‘Hmm…’
One of Yudong’s points really struck a chord.
Sometimes I wonder.
Why do things keep going wrong?
Why do some things never work out, no matter how hard I try?
My conclusion: VTuber Ria’s biggest failure was picking the wrong main game.
Killwatch.
A 5v5 FPS game about pushing payloads and capturing points, it’s huge overseas.
It’s gaining traction domestically too, with pro teams popping up.
The problem? Forest hasn’t caught the Killwatch wave yet!
I checked the viewer count for the Killwatch category.
Even at streaming’s peak hour, 10 PM, the total viewers didn’t break four digits.
In short, Forest is a Killwatch wasteland.
*
And VTuber Ria’s main content was playing Killwatch.
“Hey, everyone! Let’s have fun today!”
[Another day of Killwatch… ugh, aiming for Grandmaster today.]
After my shift, I started streaming right away.
Yesterday’s long message rattled me, but I had no clue how to pivot my content yet.
To sum up the past two months: I interacted, did missions, and otherwise played Killwatch.
Yudong was right.
‘…They really watched my streams, huh?’
Thinking back, it was a sharp fact-bomb.
But I hadn’t found other viable content.
I tried various games, but most got no reaction.
So, I stuck with what I was most confident in.
Killwatch? I was genuinely good at it.
“Alright, going straight into ranked today!”
I launched Killwatch.
“Whoa, the queue popped super fast today?”
I started a ranked match.
“Ugh, really? No heals, and I can’t do anything!”
“Wow, still clutched it? This kill-death ratio isn’t bad, right, guys?”
“…I’m doing pretty well. If we reverse sweep sets 2 and 3, it’s totally doable.”
“Nice! Just 50 more points to hit Grandmaster!”
“Which character should I play this round? Any recommendations?”
I checked the viewer count mid-stream.
[Participants: 1]
That was me, watching on my phone for the monitor.
“Man, a tank like this makes the game so easy.”
“Hey! Gotta clutch this now!”
“Argh, couldn’t pull it off! It’s fine, we’re still in this!”
“One more win, and I’ll get 23 points. Grandmaster’s locked in!”
“Nice! Guys, we hit Grandmaster! It actually happened?”
[Participants: 1]
“…Thanks! That’s it for today!”
I hit the end stream button.
I couldn’t keep up the energy.
I tried to push through, but I had no confidence to continue today.
‘Is everyone just busy…?’
Not a single viewer showed up in eight hours.
Even my Ria Guardians were busy today?
‘Probably.’
Streamers are the same, but for office workers, is there a day tougher than Monday?
They’re probably all handling their own schedules.
Plus, maybe it’s my fault for not making the stream fun?
“…”
Negative thoughts flooded in.
It’s because today was a first.
I’d never had a stream with zero viewers before.
“Ugh, really.”
I even missed the backseaters who constantly nitpicked.
Honestly, it was a bit scary.
Am I just fading away like this?
For a moment, I thought about quitting, but I shook my head.
‘Am I crazy?’
I don’t have other options.
If I was gonna quit, why did I struggle so hard until now?
I stared blankly at the monitor.
No thoughts came.
I had to sleep soon to head to my shift.
I slumped in my chair, still.
“What now?”
Ding!
An alert sounded.
A new message arrived.
“…”
Out of habit, I clicked the inbox.
Sender: [Forest_VirtualYudong1]
[Subject: Check Your Messages.]
– Not trying to backseat, but this might be a good opportunity. Tomorrow at 10 AM, Rainberg’s holding a Killwatch internal match. Why not apply? Normally, there’s no chance for a spot, but other streamers are booked, so you might get lucky.
“Huh?”
It was the same Yudong from yesterday’s long feedback.
More importantly, the message blew away my negativity.
I didn’t even know about this content.
If there’s a chance, struggling for it beats sitting still.
“Rainberg?”
Of course, I’ve heard of them.
A well-known ex-pro, big-time streamer in the FPS scene.
Problem is, I have zero connection to Rainberg.
Would it be okay to apply?
I’d probably just get rejected again.
“…Ugh, there I go again.”
Suddenly, I got annoyed with myself.
I’ve been too steeped in defeatism lately.
“Let’s do it.”
If it works, great. If not, oh well.
Sitting around moping is dumber.
“Screw it!”
Taking a page from Yudong’s feedback, I wrote a long application.
Their writing style was worth emulating too.
In a trance, I poured out the application without filter.
“Done.”
It’s complete!
I’ll find out tomorrow.
Dragging my tired body, I went to sleep.
Unaware of the ripple effect that application would bring.